Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Jews and Constipation

I wake up to Z100 every morning. Mostly out of default. Theres no country station in New York city and my little Kaboodle alarm clock that I've had since my Bat Mitzvah doesn't exactly get the best reception. The Z Morning Zoo is the morning show led by Elvis Duran. They are actually pretty funny, way better than that Rick Dees banter I grew up with. They have different segments every morning as I am trying to roll out of bed. Danielle Monaro does the Sleaze which tells us all about all the new celeb gossip and John Bell does Stupid News. Today John read a doozy.

A major Jewish philanthrapist decided last spring to donate like a million pounds of leftover Passover matzah to the poverty stricken, malnourished population of Ethiopia. What was obviously not taken into account was the damage matzah does to the human digestive system. The country of Ethiopia dealt with their first ever national crisis of constipation. Thats right. These folks never had much to eat, so once they added tons of matzah to their diets they found themselves dealing with horrible constipation. We Jews complain about the after effects of matzah eating all Passover long. But we are mixing our matzah with a diet of greasy meat and potatoes from our Seder feast, so usually the constipation is bearable. These poor Ethiopians. Talk about affliction...

2 comments:

mel gibson said...

Those damn Jews! Oh wait, I love you people now.

Z said...

Word on that constipation! Ugh. I feel SO bad for the Ethiopians. I'd eat grass first.