Thursday, March 29, 2007

In case you were wondering...

Wherever you are in the world, you probably just heard me laughing hysterically for the last ten minutes. I was making my calls (mostly leaving messages) as usual to synagogues across the country, "Hi, this is Susanne...yada yada... Shabbat Across America... yada yada... if you'd like to take part... yada me at...yada yada." I hung up the phone and was REALLY excited to eat my next Mamba fruit chew (it was strawberry! yum!). They're awesome, sort of like a more kosher equivalent to Starburst candy, but without the gelatin. So I hung up and screamed MAMBA excitedly!! Only to realize that the phone hadn't clicked all the way into place and since my headset was still on, the exclamation totally made it onto the answering machine message. So without cursing I quickly hung up completely and burst into hysterics. I told Tamarzeepoo what happened and she joined in with her own belly laugh. This went on for a while, really, really loudly! I started convulsing on the floor of my office, almost choking on the Mamba I was chewing (this was strawberry remember, I couldn't wait until the laughing stopped to eat it). Good news is, the shul was in Lake Havasu City, and I don't think it ever even checks its answering machine. So my integrity remains intact. This will be our little secret.

Why can't we all find guys like this?

Seth Galena, half of the dynamic twin duo thats responsible for Bangitout, proposed this morning to his girlfriend Hindy. What he did differently was that he did it on live TV. Major props dude and nice tux. Mazel Tov!

Watch it here!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Shoes. Let's get some shoes.

Funniest....thing....ever! You will be frightened at first. But that will pass. And you'll watch it again. And again. And again. Watch Muffins next. Go to You Tube and search Muffins. You won't regret. Watch out for chametz though.

Great political song

I just came across this song by Pink (of all people right?) as I was watching the season finale of the L Word on Sunday. Yes, I am a straight female and I watch the L Word. I think its a great dramedy. The female sex scenes make a me a little but uncomfortable, but then again, I'm the only 27 year old that still blushes when she see a hetero make out seen on network television when in the presence of her Dad. But thats probably just because my dad is fumbling to quickly change the channel. Anyhoo, the song was Pink's "Dear Mr. President". She discussed the questions soooo many Americans are dealing with today and would love to have a conversation with President Bush about. She takes on homelessness, military families, education, minimum wage, gay rights, and more. "For What its Worth" by Buffalo Springfield, one of the best war songs ever, was just dealing with Vietnam and its fallout. The social commentary in Pink's song is superb. The disdain so many of us have nowadays is showcased here. I've included the lyrics below and encourage you to all listen to the song or download it on iTunes.

Dear Mr. President
Come take a walk with me
Let's pretend we're just two people and
You're not better than me
I'd like to ask you some questions if we can speak honestly

What do you feel when you see all the homeless on the street
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep
What do you feel when you look in the mirror
Are you proud

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye
And tell me why

Dear Mr. President
Were you a lonely boy (were you a lonely boy)
Are you a lonely boy (are you a lonely boy)
How can you say
No child is left behind
We're not dumb and we're not blind (we're not blind)
They're all sitting in your cells
While you pay the road to hell

What kind of father would take his own daughter's rights away
And what kind of father might hate his own daughter if she were gay
I can only imagine what the first lady has to say
You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine

How do you sleep while the rest of us cry
How do you dream when a mother has no chance to say goodbye
How do you walk with your head held high
Can you even look me in the eye

Let me tell you bout hard work
Minimum wage with a baby on the way
Let me tell you bout hard work
Rebuilding your house after the bombs took them away
Let me tell you bout hard work
Building a bed out of a cardboard box
Let me tell you bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work
You don't know nothing bout hard work
Hard work
Hard work

How do you sleep at night
How do you walk with your head held high
Dear Mr. President
You'd never take a walk with me
Would you

Friday, March 23, 2007

Le Marais Kashrut in Question

Repost from the Maalot Yahoo group:

Le Marais Kashrut in Question
Thu Mar 22, 2007 4:43 pm (PST)
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it looks like a mashgiach from le
marais resigned over some kashrut related weirdness, and is demanding that
the OU take action...

Is this the (temporary) end of "warm chocolate cake"?

note: I have not called the OU for their side of the story. I would
encourage others to do so.

Personally, I love Le Marais. Its one of my favorite restaurants in the city. Their food is good and their steak, fries, salad for $17.95 is one of the best deals in town. When you come from a non-kosher background where you could go to Sizzler and get the steak, shrimp, and all-you-can-eat salad bar for $9.99, the Le Marais meal doesn't sound that great, but still, its tasty. I'm saddened by the news but it will hopefully be resolved soon.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Meredith's Stepmom is a Jew?

I've enjoyed watching Meredith Grey's awkward relationship with her estranged father and stepmother. One of the reasons being I've always admired the actress that plays her stepmom, Mare Winningham. She might not be everyone's favorite former brat packer but she just might be the most talented.
You could argue, well Emilio Estevez now directs, and Demi Moore marries hot guys half her age. Mare is not only a fine actress and singer but I just learned, she bakes challah! Thats right, Mare was raised Roman Catholic but converted to Judaism a few years ago according to a wonderful article I just read on the Hillel website. Mrs. Grey, more power to you!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

A Crying Shame...

Okay, so other than my roommate ST and my officemate Tamarzeepoo, very few people know about my newly discovered passion for American Idol. This is the first year that I've consistently watched the show. Its also the first year that I've owned DVR so I'm sure theres a correllation since I can now fast forwarding through the Idols I hate and pause for moments like this:

Thats right. We first saw this weeper appear around the time that Sanjaya was performing. My guess was that his voice was causing a painful aneurysm. Or she saw the chick wearing a "Fanjaya" shirt. That sight was enough to make me barf. Viewers were baffled. I thought she might have been the reincarnation of the scary blond kid from Poltergeist. But she wasn't. Defamer got the whole story.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Subway Boycott!

Yup, I created the above image myself. I am quite Microsoft Paint savvy.

I invite you all to join me on my boycott of Subway Sandwiches. But not for the reasons you might think. Not because Quizno's is 1000 times better, and Schlotzsky's is even better than that. No, it is because Subway sandwiches did not give me the free bicycle that I totally deserved!

I'll explain: I got an IM today from my buddy Eli saying that two of her co-workers had just won bikes on the corner of 42nd Street and Sixth Ave. Subway, as part of their healthy lifestyle advertising campaign had a street team on the corner there looking for random acts of "exercise". So I jogged, no sprinted, from 36th street up to their location. I ran up to this group in bright yellow rain slickers (yup, I sprinted through the rain) and asked them what was going on. I was visibly out of breath and my pulse was going pretty good. I was informed that I didn't qualify because I approached them first as opposed to them approaching me. They were supposed to "spot" me first doing my "exercise". Meanwhile as I stood there obviously pissed they "spotted" a petite woman walk out of the HBO building and "speedwalk" into Starbucks for her caffeine fix. They gave her the fricken bike. This little woman wearing, get this, an HBO Sports shirt won the free bicycle. She looks like she participates in triathalons. I look like my favorite form of exercise is channel surfing. What the hell?! So I call on all of my readers to boycott their establishments. To hell with their fajita sub! To hell with ducks eating free at Subway (Mitch Hedberg shout out there)! To hell with Jared Fricken Fogle the dude that lost all his weight by eating a sub every day for lunch and dinner! To hell with all of it! So join my boycott! Since 90% of my readers keep strictly kosher that should be extremely easy for you (minus the Jews in Cleveland and Brooklyn with their kosher franchises). But everyone else, promise me you'll never eat at Subway again. And feel free to buy me a new bike with your tax refund this year. My favorite color is red. Thank you.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Don't be this guy

Don't be Charlie. Charlie logged 500 hours on Facebook in a six month period. That works out to about 4 hours per day. Sick! He claims, "Losing my job bothers me far less than losing Facebook ever could." Come on man? Facebook? The only time I had that discussion with myself was when I needed to leave work for a Dixie Chicks meet and greet and private concert. I told Destiny that if my office told me I couldn't leave then I'd have to quit. Yes, the Dixie Chicks do mean more to me than saving Jewish Souls. I am a sick, sick person.

Just filled in my brackets

Just entered my brackets for the Sweet 16. I'm guessing OSU beats Maryland by 5 in the Final. My choices are based on an exact science called the "Susanne Method". Its a blend of supporting teams I've grown up caring about through the early rounds (UCLA, USC) to advancing teams that I think will bring out hot celebs as they root for their favorites (think Matthew McConnaughey ripping off his shirt after a Texas victory) to picking who I think will be this year's George Mason longshot (I've chosen Virginia Commonwealth to make it to the third round beating both Duke and Pitt before losing to UCLA). I created a pool on Facebook that I invite you all to join. Its called Yeshiva U should be in the Sweet 16! and the tagline is: "For all of us yidden in the Heights and beyond that wish there were more Yeshiva basketball phenoms. Tamir Goodman was not enough!" Now I know what you're thinking, "but Susanne, you were a Yeshiva basketball phenom." You're right, I was. As a Lady Macabbee, I once had 5 baskets in a single game. But I did not let it all go to my head. But thats neither here nor there. I hope you all join a March Madness pool because they are quite fun. Pick names out of a hat. Use a pin the tail on the donkey blindfold. But as Nike always said, Just Do It.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Raising kids in apartments

In many a conversation I've remarked how sad it would be to raise my children in an apartment. Now don't get me wrong, I've seen some fricken awesome apartments during my stay in New York. Once at a Hillary Clinton fundraiser that I volunteered at I couldn't tear my eyes away from the gorgeous penthouse view of Central Park. This joint had more square footage than my parent's two-story house. Plus it came with a full kitchen staff that the bitchy lady who owned it forced the Senator to meet and greet before the shindig began. If I were rich enough to own a penthouse with slaves, ahem, servants, I would move to the fricken burbs. I loved living in the suburbs. I love hopping in the car to drive (literally) across the street to pick up a carton of milk. I loved having a heated pool in the backyard (which we never used, it was there for show). I loved having a front yard on which all the neighbors dogs would come and crap. I loved watching the gardners come once a week and clean up after the dogs. But the thing I just might have loved most of all....was toilet papering other people's houses. My high school crew and I would go out fairly often and TP (as the kids these days call it) another, less cool individual's house. Myself, not being as fit as my friends, nor being the Captain of the soccer team, usually served as getaway driver. I was good at that job. I was also the only one sober. Prior to high school, in my not as cool years, I was the victim of a toiletpapering or two. The most traumatizing was the time my own soccer team had a sleepover that I was not invited to and they came and toiletpapered my house. But that not the worst part. The worst part was the girl's mom was frugal and instead of toiletpaper had them using shredded documents. Like bank statements, bills, and letters. My mom, pissed off cause she hates cleaning stuff up, went through the piles and deciphered a name from the statements. Discovering my teammate's father's name she didn't hesitate to call him on the phone at 7 AM Sunday morning. Needless to say, the girls all trekked back in their bathrobes to clean up the mess as my mom stood over them watching to make sure they didn't miss a piece. Time passed and my dad said I was going to be late for Sunday School. I hated Sunday School to begin with so having to leave the house and face the mortification made the circumstances far, far worse. But I did it, because a Jewish education is a sad thing to waste. The moral of this story is not the lesson I should have learned in junior high that I should have carried over to high school of not toiletpapering people's house because its thoroughly emabarrassing. No no. Its to not raise my children in an apartment. Why you might ask? Tonight I witnessed what may have been the saddest thing of my life. As I exited the A train on my way to basketball, I noticed that some kids had toiletpapered........the shrubbery in front of 10 Overlook Terrace. And a couple cars parked in front. Seriously, if we really believe the children are our future (sing it Whitney), we will give them lawns, and trees, and garages, and chimneys to toiletpaper. Not shrubbery. Seriously, I feel for them. My heart goes out.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Dougie's to Open New Cafe on Wilf Campus - News

Dougie's to Open New Cafe on Wilf Campus - News

Well, it looks like Lake Como pizza will not be the butt of the Mt. Sinai Purim Shpiel jokes next year, because they just might be strong armed out by this Kosher restaurant giant. But lets remember, the Dougie's Dairy on 72nd Street, although delicious and afforadble, lasted barely a year. Will be interesting to see how this plays out. Stay tuned...

Monday, March 05, 2007

Purim Shpiel

Below is the Mt. Sinai Purim Shpiel. I did my best to bring on the funny, but with only 6 lines in the whole show, there wasn't much I could do. Enjoy!

My New York Times delivery guy sucks

I get the Times 7 days a week. For some reason the weekday delivery dude did not receive a new building key when we changed the locks to the building's main door. This means that I get my Saturday and Sunday papers delivered to my door while my weekday papers I pick up in my apartment's entry vestibule. This means that on Monday morning I don't always know what the weather is going to be like until I get downstairs, grab my paper, and scan the weather blurb on the front page. According to yesterday's copy of the NY Times, (which I base my Monday clothing choices on) today's weather should be in the high 50's/lower 60's, mild for this time of year. So I dressed accordingly based on that info. Today I'm wearing a t-shirt, cotton sweater, jean skirt without tights, tennis shoes, and a light spring raincoat. As I look out the window watching the freezing snow pour down I ponder the notion of a better system. Perhaps listening to Z100 for longer than "The Sleaze" would be a start. Wish me luck. Getting home is going to suck!