Sunday, December 25, 2005

Butt Rash

So as promised, heres my story of my ER visit. People might ask me, aren't you embarrassed to tell this story, and I say no, hell, its not like anyone actually reads my blog. So my eye doctor brother thinks he is a real doctor. In California optometrists have earned themselves the right to write prescriptions for things other than eye drops. Everywhere else in the world they still are unable. For good reason. Last week I developed an eye infection. I told me dad about it (hes also an eye doc) and he said talk to Alan, he knows more about medicines than I. Reason being, up until a few years ago they weren't able to give meds. Now that they can my brother tries to write prescriptions for things with obviously nothing to do with the eye. Like cough syrup with codeine. A Level 1 narcotic. Thank goodness the pharmacist was like, um, you're an eye doctor, you don't get to prescribe this stuff...especially for yourself. So after thinking long and hard about my situation, my bro wrote me an Rx for some sort of Amoxicillin product. It wasn't til two days later that I developed the rash..... on my butt! Realizing that the medicine caused the rash kinda freaked me out and I decided to go to my doctor in the beginning of the week. But no such luck, there was a transit strike. So I decided to do the next best thing. Tuesday morning I called in sick to work, not like it was humanly possible to sick on my butt rash for 8 straight hours in front of a desk. I walked down to Columbia Pres Hospital and stepped up to the triage nurse and got ready to tell her my problem when a line of people developed out of nowhere to listen in on my ailment.
Me: "So I think I am having a negative reaction to an antibiotic that I am taking."
Triage Nurse: "What kind of reaction?
Me: "Well, I kinda developed a rash."
TN: "Where exactly is this rash?"
Me: (Turning to see exactly how many people are listening in) "Um, its kinda in my butt region area place."
TN: "Ohhh, um, well, fill this out and take a seat"
So I sat in the ER waiting while text messaging (since you can't use your cell phone, um visibly, in the ER) Destiny a nurse in the hospital who informed me I had a good 4 hour wait til I'd be treated. Good thing Destiny is a liar and they called my name after only an hour and a half. They put me in a room with a robe (gasp! Not the drafty hospital robe!) and told me to put it on. I sat in my little (drafty) holding cell waiting for my doctor just imagining all the doctors standing outside my door drawing straws to see which one would have to give me a rectal exam. I watch way too many hospital shows. Thank goodness it didn't come to that. Not saying nothing invasive took place but I did Thank God there was minimal minimal tushy touching. After an hour of fighting with my doctor, assuring her I wasn't pregnant, she let me pee in a cup and gave me a pill that got rid of the damn rash. Moral of the story is, don't let your eye doctor give you anything but drops. Okay, maybe that just goes for me. My tushy is too damn sensitive. Alan, I love you to death, but this rash did knock you down a few points in my book. You suck!

Once a tomboy, always a tomboy!

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.

Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.

You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.

You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Roger Toussaint can burn in hell!

Shout out to Ali! Mighty Max 4-Eva!

So my week has been hella hella sucky. Not only did it start out with me in the ER (more on that in my next post) but after waiting up til 2:30 am Tuesday morn to find out whether or not there would be a transit strike, Satan, opps I mean Roger Toussaint came on the air at 3 am to announce there would indeed be a transit strike. This did not bode well with me since A) I really wanted to visit my doctor in midtown on Tuesday, and B) my easy 45 minute commute was about to become a nightmare. So Tuesday I stayed in the Heights and visited the hospital, the closest healthcare provider to my apartment. It wasn't an enjoyable experience. More on that later. Tuesday night I again couldn't sleep. Woke up wide awake, again, at 6:30 am. I'm usually not a morning person. Norm is hitting the snooze button a dozen, dozen and a half times. Here I was too nervous about my commute so I jumped out of bed. Took a car to the Bronx to wait in a 30 minute line in the freezing cold to buy tickets as we watched 2 trains come and go without us as we waited. Got to work an hour and a half later. On the way home I met up with some peeps to take the train back. They didn't to take a car from the Bronx so we walked. I walked 26 blocks and across the city to get home, in the freezing cold. It wasn't pleasant. Today was no better. Only difference was I took a car home from the train station. The question of 10 bucks or 26 blocks is something I will never consider again. I'm just gonna hop in the taxi. So Roger Toussaint, Trasit Workers Union President, you suck!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Why don't Jewish boys agree?

So the Cowboy leaned over and gave me the nicest compliment I've ever received in my life: "Damn you must be married or a lesbian!" At first I thought I would just tell him to F-off but then he said: "You darling, are the ideal wife". Let me set the stage for you. Last night Destiny and I hit the town and were sitting at the bar of our favorite (and only truthfully) country bar in NYC. I love it there. They've got a country only jukebox which I fill up as soon as I arrive with my usual Gretchen, Creedence, and Toby selections. Then I pulled up a stool to the bar where I had ordered a pitcher of Coors Light, for myself. The only reason I do this is that pitchers at this bar are so damn cheap its just more economical than buying a couple pints. Coor Light for example is only 7 bucks. Thats the cheapest high I could possibly find, except of course for that time I took an expired Vicodin for my toothache. That stuff really messed me up. Oh man. Good times. So Dest and I are sitting next to this fella who would have fit in much much better at a bar in Dallas. Hes wearing a really nice cowboy hat, boots, and hes got his rancher gloves sitting up on the bar. I swear, he looked like an anorexic version of Kenny Chesney. Keep in mind this bar is on 76th and Broadway. Obviously if this bar wasn't blasting George Strait, he probably would have gotten his ass kicked in that outfit. But here, he was the coolest guy in the place. So we sat next to him, cause you know how it is, cool by association. So I sat there, drinking from my pitcher of beer, watching the Broncos/Bills football game, and singing every country lyric that came out of that jukebox. Then came the comment:
Cowboy: "Damn you must be married or a lesbian!".
Me: "Um, what?
Cowboy: "You darling, are the ideal wife".
Me: "Um, what?
Cowboy: "Well I see you sitting there drinking your beer by the pitcher, watching a sport on TV that I don't even understand, and singing along to the jukebox. You have got to be any guys ideal wife."
Me: (Blushing) Um, thanks.
Then the cowboy bought Dest and I a shot (really yummy actually Malibu and Midori, way good). He didn't want it cause I guess it was too girly of a shot, especially since he was drinking manly Pabst Blue Ribbon by the can, but we made him anyway. He was a really sweet guy so we chatted a little more (he has an apt on CPW and 69th that he only stays in 3 months a year, ie he is loaded) and the only sport he watches is on the Golf Channel (ok, his cool factor dropped a few dozen points in my book, why oh why couldn't he have said OLN Channel which shows Rodeo and Bull Riding?) So let me end by posing the question in the title: Why don't Jewish boys agree? I am a damn good catch. I'll never yell at him for watching football (hell, I'll be sitting next to him on the couch) and I certainly won't fill up the fridge with stupid bottles of girly Chardonays or Merlots, I'll be drinking Bud Light just like him. I am, as the Cowboy suggested, the Ideal Wife. So where the hell is my Ideal Husband?

Friday, December 16, 2005


STRIKE!!!STRIKE!!!STRIKE!!! So last night I was chanting this. If there were a strike today I would have had the day off. That would have been sweet since I am almost caught up on this season of Lost and could have watched a couple episodes. Now if the strike happens Monday morning we not only have to come to work, but I'll probably have to come in super early...with my boss! So now here I am at work after staying up all night waiting for news that there would be no work today so I could sleep in, the same way a little boy waits up watching a blizzard praying for no school so they can get out of the super hard math test. Now all I am is tired. Life sucks.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Shout Outs- Circus

So this is basically a Shout Out to Elana S, the coolest Bar Exam passing Great Necker I know. And who happens to be my only reader. Heres to you Elana. So I went to the circus tonight with my date Arona and Eli and Elie. It was mad mad fun. I usually hate that crap. Circus' are usually smelly. This one wasn't. Not as many animals. Only one horse, that was about it. There was an awesome doggy act with all these crazy cool dogs doing tricks and comedy and stuff. One even looked like my mom's maltese(ie a Paris Hilton tiny dog) Snoopy. Little white guy. Poops like little Tootsie Rolls. So cute. Then there were these two totally gay acrobat dudes who like did tricks with each other. They were so cool. Prob one of the coolest acts. Then they had the usual trapeze and a little Asian kid acrobatic troupe who kicked ass. And super incredible jugglers. There were 4 of them and at one point they were all juggling together 16 pins. That was mad cool. Go to the Big Apple Circus. It was awesome!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

My kick ass week

So last week was fricken incredible. Thanks to a generous Chanukah gift from my mom (which she doesn't know about yet, j/k Mom in case you see this) I saw two amazing concerts last week. My favorite new band Sugarland was opening for Brad Paisley and Sara Evans at this little theater in Times Square. There not my total favorite, thats still the Dixie Chicks, but they are alike in many ways. There music includes some real country sound with a dude that plays mandolin and lyrics that seriously kick ass. Also their song Baby Girl reminds me a lot of Wide Open Spaces by the Dixie Chicks, one of my fave songs ever. What pissed me off was the whole time onstage, the lead singer was so self deprecating saying stuff like we are only here as a warm up act and we're nobodies etc, etc. It pissed me off. I bought the ticket primarily to see them. They put on an incredible show and I'm yet to hear a song I don't like. How many awards must we give them before they realize they are awesome on their own. Next was Sara Evans who I'm not the biggest fan of. In fact, I don't think shes a good live singer at all. Could barely hit the right notes. But she was really funny onstage making fun of her brother who is now her bassist and stuff. Next was the main act, Brad Paisley, who was such a contrast to Sugarland cause his music has a major rock and roll sound to it especially since he plays a sweet electric guitar. His music is also very funny and has a couple comic songs including his new one, Alcohol which speaks from alcohol's point of view, for example "I got blamed at your wedding reception for the best man's embarrassing speech", or "I help white people dance", or "I will make you put that lamp shade on your head". Funny stuff. All in all it was an awesome concert and I was so lucky to get a ticket to it. Then came Thursday. Thursday I got tickets to a private taping of Tim McGraw's upcoming TV special. Normally now Tim's tickets are well over 100 bucks. These were only 50 and I knew at the venue it was being held in, every seat was within inches of Tim. Like the Brooks and Dunn concert Destiny, my token country lovin' friend, and I were right near the stage. Tim put on a kick ass show and looked super hot although hes got a little beer belly now. I got on camera alot and even had a solo moment where I was taped singing some lyrics into the camera with 2 other hot chicks. So keep an eye out for me. I'm the one in the cowboy hat. Also, Deano, Tim's guitarist, kept throwing picks into the crowd which no one noticed cause it was so dark in there. At the end of the show I looked down and found one at my feet. Yay! At the end of the show the NBC producer came out and said Tim was going to retape the show an hour later and we were welcome to stick around. Knowing how rare an opportunity this was, Destiny and I stuck aroud. The second concert was even better. The crowd was way more pumped up (I think because it was later and people outside the city hence "real country lovers" were able to make it to the show). Tim even was fired up. He sang some extra songs and climbed upstairs to sit on his wife Faith Hill's lap. It was awesome. Anyway, that was my week. The first and probably last busy week I'll have for a long time. Until next time...

Susanne and Tim- Coming to a TV near you

I was at Tim McGraw's taped special last Thursday night. And being little outgoing Susanne, I was all over that tape. Being in NYC, not too many audience members looked like real cowgirls so I made sure to stand right in front of the camera wearing my cowboy hat (which basically blocked out anyone standing near me) during both of his performances including one solo where I got to sing into the camera during his song Back When. Stay tuned for my TV special in February. Fired up!