Monday, April 30, 2007

Tips for Meeting a Nice Jewish Boy (or Girl)

Thanks to DJ's non-Jewish boss for sending this article to her. He's apparently trying to get into Olam Habah by sending her stuff like this and running searches on Frumster on DJ's behalf. My favorite was when she told me he asked her, "DJ? Do you consider yourself Modern Orthodox Liberal, or Modern Orthodox Mock-mirr?" Love her stories! Enjoy the article and good luck finding your Bashert.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

My 2008 Candidates

I thought it would be fun to share with you where I'm holding in the '08 Presidential Race. I would vote somewhere in the below order starting with my number one choice through whatever. Some of them aren't yet "official" candidates (ahem! Al Gore), but still thought they should be included.

1) Al Gore (D). Come on already man. Run for something. You were awesome at the Oscar's and I swear I had goosebumps when I had thought you were announcing your candidacy onstage with Leonardo DiCaprio. Until the orchestra started playing, effectively drowning you out as part of a not so funny gag, in my mind at least. Plus, his wife Tipper Gore is my celebrity look-a-like. Seriously, its uncanny. I could get jobs as a first lady impersonator. And my final reason, I already voted for you. I'm not saying the US wouldn't be having the hard times we are if you had won, but at least we would receive a educated response to our questions, instead of an awshucks BS one that we currently are stuck with. You are the man Al!

2) Hillary Clinton (D). As I've stated before, I really like Hillary. I've met her on several locations and feel a great sincerity and intelligence every time she speaks. I find her, as well as her daughter Chelsea, to be great role models for women everywhere. Plus, how great would it be to put Bill back in the White House. I so want to be invited to one of his keggers.

3) Bill Richardson (D). His credentials speak for themselves. He is a wonderful diplomat, most recently sent by President Bush to North Korea to negotiate the release of the remains of deceased US servicemen, oh and while he was there discussed the dismantling of their nuclear program. I think he can work better than any of the other candidates with a bipartisan congress. He is extremely well liked by his constituents in both parties, winning his Gubernatorial reelection last year by one of the largest margins. He is also the only candidate currently with executive experience, currently serving as the Governor of New Mexico, a swing state, by the way. I would feel more confident about voting for him if I knew he had better odds. A stupid reason, but honest. Maybe he'll move up my list soon...

4) John Edwards (D). Not a great deal of experience (was that only one term as Senator?) but I think he connects well to the concerns of the nation. At least that was until the gossip last week that he spent $800 for two haircuts at some floofy Beverly Hills salon. Seriosuly bro, I get mine cut every three months at Supercuts for twenty bucks and my hair still looks better than yours. Stop doing crap like that and get back to the basics. You can't campaign on your good ole boy childhood and let stories like that slip out. Pull it together and get back on track. My prayers are with John's wife Elizabeth as she treats her cancer. She is a tough woman.

5) John McCain (R). Could I vote for a Republican? Possibly. Probably not over any of the above candidates, but certainly over any of those listed below him. I hate his position on the war. But a redeeming factor came while I was watching the Dixie Chicks documentary (stop laughing, I'm being serious) Shut Up and Sing. There is a scene when the Dixie Chicks' manager, Simon Renshaw is testifying before a Senate Commerce committee about FCC regulation and how different radio conglomerates banned the Dixie Chicks' music from any of their station holdings after the Dixie Chicks spoke negatively of President Bush. This therefore, meant that other politcal thoughts might be banned on public radio stations. While every other Republican was siding with "big business", John McCain spoke in the Dixie Chicks favor. He said "I was as offended as anyone by the statement of the Dixie Chicks, but to restrain their trade because they exercised their right of free speech is remarkable." Could he be a Republican president who if elected actually did and said what is right, as opposed to what the RNC tells him? I wonder.

6) Mitt Romney (R). Hes a mormon. They are about as close as we can come to electing an Ortho. Hell, Mormoms practially wear tzizus (they do wear special holy undergarments) and give ridiculous amounts of money to their church (tithing like frum Jews, 10% of their income). Hes one frum dude. Okay, just kidding. I probably wouldn't vote for him.

7) Barack Obama (D). Who? Where did this guy come from? I'd never heard of him until last year. He is a first term, junior Senator from Illinois. Sure hes a wonderful orator, hes good looking, and very well educated. But what kind of experience does he have that he should be the leader of the free world? I'm 100% in favor of a President who is not a white, middle aged, male. Thats why I have Hillary (female) and Bill Richardson (Hispanic) near the top of my list. Obama, leave this race right now and run again in 8 years. You will have my vote. I promise. But first you need to put on public record where you stand on the issues. And convince me that you are passionate about Israel a little bit more.

8) Rudy Giuliani (R). You are probably surprised that he is so far down my list. I feel that he is even less capable to do this job than Barack Obama. As I said before, we are ready to vote for a minority or a women, but I'm not so sure honestly that Southern Conservatives are ready for a twice divorced guy (who dated his current wife while still married to the previous one). We forgive a lot of things. Our President is a recovering alcoholic. John Kerry and Joe Lieberman have been divorced (as well as tons of others, these just popped into my mind) and are elected to the Senate. Ted Kennedy killed someone!!! But philandering soooo openly is a no no. Hell, we impeached Bill Clinton (one of the greatest modern presidents) when he was caught with his pants down with a women who wasn't his wife. Yes, Rudy did a wonderful job handling the aftermath of 9/11. I was inspired by him a great deal. But running the 5 boroughs doesn't compare to the United States.

And in no particular order:

Additional Democratic Presidential Candidates
Joe Biden
Chris Dodd
Dennis Kucinich

Additional Republican Presidential Candidates
Sam Brownback
Mike Huckabee
Tommy Thompson
Jim Gilmore
Duncan Hunter

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

How I spent my Yom Haatzmaut

A laffa from Golan Heights. I went with the Reifer because the restaurant was participating in America Eats For Israel, a campaign where kosher places around the country donated 10% of yesterday's proceeds to Israeli charity.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Bearcats Game 1

Yesterday my softball league began. I play for the JAB Bearcats. That stands for the Jewish Alumni of Binghamton Bearcats (the Bing Mascot). It was originally started a few years back by a group of Binghamton Alumni. Currently we have like 1 alum left on the team. Its made up this year by a lot of new faces, including a new coach Josh G who has replaced Avi D who made aliyah. There one NJ on the team who I kind of feel sorry for because some of my funniest jokes are Jewishly oriented. For instance, one of the league rules is that the base coaches cannot touch base runners, including high fives, pats on the back/butt, etc, and the umpire made it very clear that he would call the runner out if he saw anything like that. I told everyone the umpire had a strict shomer negiah policy. And we all laughed. But not the NJ. I don't think he got it.

I hit 2 for 3 which isn't bad but I wasn't very impressed by my hits. I've got to work on my swing and find a more comfortable bat. Heres what I hate. Men. They are annoying. All in all I played a pretty good game. No ridiculous errors. I got some hits. Made some put outs at first base. Ran agressively around the bases. Slid into home to score a run. But whats the thing the men acknowledged? When my hotty teammate caught a routine pop up in the outfield. So annoying.

We beat RIA Pubs by 6 runs. So either 12-6 or 10-4 or something like that. They were previously undefeated. So go us. Our team came together pretty well. I hope we can keep up the good fortune. Go Bearcats!

Monday, April 23, 2007


Okay, you're not the only one complaining that I'm not updating the blog enough for your tastes. Pesach was fine. I ate lots of matzah. We ran out of good matzah on day 6 so I had to revert to shmura matzah, which is HORRIBLE. Turns out my dad was eating like a pound a day of my Yehuda with his morning peanut butter fix which isn't even kosher for passover! Not for us ashkenazis at least. I went to Universal with Rachel over Chol Hamoed and got a little crazy.

I got to hang out with my favorite doggy in the whole wide world, Giovanni. I even tried to smuggle him back to New York in my suitcase. But he didn't let me.

Mom? Dad? Would it kill you to stick him in a box and send him to New York for a couple weeks? I love that guy. Hes such a bad ass.

Now I'm back super busy with Shabbat Across America which is in less than two weeks!!! My shul is running the program and NO ONE has RSVPed yet. So if you know anyone in Washington Heights who wants to experience Shabbos please encourage them to attend. Knock on their doors. I already harassed all my neighbors who have mezuzahs on their doors. And most of them turned out to be apartments belonging to Dominicans whose previous tenants left up their mezuzahs on their way to a better neighborhood. Anyway, I need to go watch Heroes and go to bed. Peace.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Sunday, April 01, 2007


Been in California for a day, and already I've got a terrible sunburn. Today was Shabbos which means there really wasn't much to do but take a walk at the beach. I know what you're thinking, "Boo fricken hoo Susanne! You were sooo bored that you HAD to walk along the beach??!" Well, my skin burns within minutes and you can't apply sunscreen on Shabbos. Okay, I normally would anyway but I thought, hell, a little sun won't kill me. I can use a base color for the rest of the tanning time I have left in Cali. So as I sit here in tremendous pain, blisters on my neck and the back of my knees, I ask myself, was it worth it? Not really. Will I do it again? Probably. Sunshine is a terrible thing to waste.