Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Transitive Property

Today is a Fast day to commemorate several different historic events in Jewish History. Its called Shiv'ah Asar B'Tammuz, or the 17th of the month Tammuz. For more info visit NJOP's Holiday site. Unlike other religions, on fast days Jews do not consume food or drink the entire day. Tonight's fast ends at 9:03 pm. During Ramadan I believe Muslims are allowed to drink when they are thirsty. Jews just run around all day parched with little white crusties developing at the corners of their mouths. The worst part coffee. I need coffee to survive. First thing I do when I get to the office is make a huge pot of coffee. Not because its part of my job description or anything. No, jobs like that are thanks goodness in my past. I make coffee, because until the moment I down a cup or two I am scarily unapproachable. Safely at least.

Here comes the part of the blog post that I get to test your 9th grade math skills.
Fast Day= No Coffee and No Coffee=Susanne in Bad Mood
Therefore Fast Day= Susanne in Bad Mood
Thats the Transitive Property. I am the Queen of Algebraic Postulates.

Around the 14th hour of the fast (today's 14th hour for me was around 12 noon) you develop a searing headache. But of course you can't take an Aleve. Why? Because you want to tough it out. Make it all the way to 9:03 pm. And thats just what I plan to do. Leave work nowish, around 5:30. Hobble home. Pass out on the couch for the remaining 3 hours. At precisely 9:03 pm, eat everything in site. And then at 9:06 be horrifically disgusted by how much food I've consumed. Fast days rule! Peace.


Lans said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lans said...

I have the same coffee problem. Yesterday All I wanted was some ice coffee.. so I am making up for it now. The thing is after I eat, I am still in a bad mood... which is weird. I dont break-fast on coffee becuase I dont want to stay up all night or ruin my stomach, but when yo uthink about it, thats what I do every day for breakfast anyway... weird no? So in short, Josh, I am sorry.
Happy Sabbath!

S said...

as i said, you are a transitive property.

there. i commented. now do you love me?