Monday, May 07, 2007

My alternate reality

We have a tradition at Shabbos meals in the Heights to go around the table and have everyone introduce themselves. Usually the host/ess will suggest a fun question for the guests to answer after announcing their name and where they are from which is nice because it fleshes out a little more about the guests' personalities. I even helped Arona create an in depth list of potential questions a couple summers ago. Questions on the list that I recall are, "If you had a tattoo, where would it be and why?" and "If you were asked to murder one of the other guests, who would you kill?" I didn't come up with the last question (I'm not maniacal) but as for the tattoo I would get a Spongebob tattoo on my right buttock, in case you are wondering.

At lunch this past Shabbos there was a wonderful suggestion. If you could experience an alternate reality, live an alternate life for yourself, what would it be? Where would you live? What would you do? What would your name be? Would you still be Jewish? Frum? Etc, etc. Seems kind of complex but everyone was able to come up with an answer. Considering half the table has degrees in psychology I wonder if they have ever asked this question of their bipolar/multiple personality patients, but whatev, I had fun with it. Not surprisingly, most everyone chose a life where they were happily in relationships, and of course most everyone had a trust fund. Anyway, I thought I would share with you my alternate reality.

Hi, my name is Susanne, but in this life S-U-S is the proper spelling for the name to make up for the fact that growing up I was never able to by a keychain from Disneyland that was not spelled S-U-Z-A-N-N-E. I hated that.

I am a US Congresswoman for the 48th District of California, the first Democratic representative in this area in many years. Go me!

I am still frum although in this reality, the laws of kashrus are suspended for three reasons: 1) I hate gefilte fish, 2) I cannot imagine my kids not experiencing Chicken McNuggets with Sweet & Sour sauce (yummmmmmm), 3) Chicken Parmesan is the greatest food in the universe.

I have a wonderful husband named Brad. Although he is a partner in his law firm he still manages to make it home every night for dinner and to tuck the kids in bed. Theres no need to stay late billing extra hours when we could live comfortably on his trust fund and occasional modeling gigs for Abercrombie and Fitch (I occasinally model for them as well, but my constituents think its a little bit too racy). We have 3 kids, two boys and a girl, which is a lot of work but my husband insists on getting up with them for late night feedings and glasses of water. On Sunday mornings my husband and I coach their Little League teams, and then we all go to Norm's for breakfast.

We live in Irvine, California. The Orthodox community in Irvine has been revitalized by young frum families and our nickname is now the "Teaneck of the West Coast" with plenty of shuls to choose from and young professinals like ourselves to be friends with. All of my friends followed my lead and moved here as well. They were attracted by the tax break bill I sponsored last year for accountants living in Orange County.

My husband and I also have a townhouse in Georgetown just 2 blocks from Kesher Israel for the days I am in DC for important legislation. At Kesher we rub elbows with Senator Joe Lieberman every Shabbos, as he laments to himself how silly it was to try to run for Vice President with John McCain as a running mate in 2008. I laugh everytime I think about it.

Well, thats about it. If you have any questions please let me know and I'll be sure to respond with an answer. Like where Brad and I met, kids ages, etc etc. I'd be happy to fill you in. Take care!

And now a word from our sponsor:
No, I am not mental. Just bored. Try writing your own. Its kind of fun.

4 comments:

Arona said...

Great question! I'm totally adding it to my list. But dind't it take forever to get thru everyone?

Arona said...

also, if by "create", you mean you added weird questions about mark's beard, then yes you did help me create it and thank you for that.

SusQHB said...

The question is posed at the beginning of the meal with a quick rundown of everyones names and then throughout the meal once someone thinks of their story they share it. Its all good.

Lans said...

your right or the viewers right? and why right and not left?