Friday, August 24, 2007

Why I Hate J Lo

So I won tickets on Z100 for a private J Lo concert last night. Myself and three buddies excitedly entered the Roseland Ballroom expecting a good show. We were told to arrive at 7 and in addition to the concert it would be a private VIP party. So we and several hundred J Lo devotees lined up to get in promptly at 7. We got in and secured a good standing spot near the front next to the cordoned off VIP area. This was to my dismay, not for ZVIPs, Z100's promotional title for people who log on to their website, but actual legitimate VIPs. Damn them.

We got in there and DJ Spinbad was at his turntable playing a great mix of modern R&B while mixing in some rock and roll standards (unmistakable Jack & Diane by Mellencamp thrown in there to my fanatical cheers). I was dancing around like a crazy woman giving white people everywhere a severely bad name. Last time I "clubbed" was probably in high school, and more likely after a couple drinks. Here we were sober and beginning to get bored. In my head I thought, no worries, J Lo will go on by 8. After 8 another DJ (supposedly, J Lo's private DJ, does that mean he travels with her, spins records at J Lo and Marc's mansion? I have no clue). He proceeded to turn up the volume (literally, not figuratively) at least 100 decibels. And played really trashy (LOUD) rap music. Uh uh. J Lo would so not approve of this garbage. A true Fly Girl would never stoop that low. But don't worry Susanne, J Lo will for sure come out by 9. At 9 Carolina Bermudez from Elvis Duran and the Z Morning Zoo came out to huge applause. I'm a big fan of hers too so I got all excited. Even got my ass up off the ground where I had been situated most uncooly for the last half hour. She just did one of those, are you guys ready for J Lo?!! And we got all excited again. Then she left the stage and the loud DJ played on. No one there seemed to be having fun at this point. It had been more than two hours and everyone was standing facing the stage waiting for J Lo to come out. Maybe 1 in 10 people were still dancing. People started to leave. Tamarzeepoo left at a quarter to 10. Reifer, Nat, and I grabbed out bags at 10:05 ready to finally give up when J Lo finally made her appearance. I told the couple next to us, don't get too excited, shes going to do 2 songs, both from the new album so no one will be able to sing along and then she'll leave the stage. Sure enough, I was mostly right. She did two new songs we had never heard and one compilatation of her hits. Listen honey. You are a very talented girl, but you do not have enough hit songs to give devoted fans a compilation performance after they've stood around waiting for you for 3 hours!! You are no Tim McGraw! Even the Dixie Chicks don't pull that crap. We were super annoyed. We went home kinda pissed. Don't call your event a concert and just make it a dirty club scene. Nice Jewish Girls will not have a good time there!


Anonymous said...

is this for real or u just crapping?

Anonymous said...

I agree a half assed cameo by no means should be mis promoted under an actual performance. The problem is that music is no longer he means of income just merely a way to promote herself for the next movie or w.e. endorsement she has. Get it right jlo if you are an artist put in your work.