Friday, April 21, 2006

10 Hours of CNN

You ever watch 10 straight hours of CNN? Well I did and it sucks! Quick segue to explain myself. I'm a fairly observant Jew. For most people Passover means they eat matzah for a day or two and have a Seder where they recount the story of the Exodus. For religious people like myself, we celebrate this week long holiday by strictly avoiding most food and drink. In addition, the first and last two days of the week are extra holy. For instance, I prayed three times a day, didn't drive in a car, didn't use anything electronic (i.e. my computer) and didn't watch TV. Okay, okay, I watched TV, I just didn't have control of the remote control. Here's where I rant about CNN. This year for the first time, I spent Passover solely at my parent's home in Huntington Beach. My parents are not as religious as myself. They kept a strict diet of matzah (for the first 4 days at least, nice work guys!) but didn't adhere to the additional things like not working, driving, or watching TV. I wouldn't have watched TV, except that the big comfy leather couches and best lighting are located in the TV room. My goal was to spend the week reading the Da Vinci Code (for the second time, to prep for the movie). My mom's goal was to spend her days and nights, in addition to her daily cleaning, laundry, and bill paying (don't get me wrong, she works her ass off in the house), watching only shit I have no interest in watching. The only channels she watches are: CNN, the Weather Channel, the Home Shopping Network, QVC, and those ridiculous afternoon Judge shows. I swear, if I see another Diamonique bracelet I just might barf. I honestly think she was working with God to punish me for watching TV on the holy days. Why couldn't my Dad be around all day? All he watches is COPS and That '70s Show reruns. That I would have been able to handle. One day my Mom left CNN on when she ran to the bank. Did you know that CNN runs on a fricken loop every like 20 minutes. And it wasn't even a big news day. I must of seen the story about the Duke lacrosse scandal 100 times. Literally! The next day she left for the office and left the TV on the Weather Channel. They are even worse! They repeat their stories every 10 MINUTES! Can you believe that? So heres my question. How the HELL do these crappy cable channels get advertising monies? All they do is record 20 minutes of material and go "It's time for my 10 hour break". If anyone knows how I can apply for a job at one of these stations, please don't hesitate to let me know. I love break time. Peace out. More on my Passover and my sunburn at a later time. Shabbat Shalom!


Just Shu said...

the only time I ever watched that mucg CNN was on 9/11, by the end of teh day I'd had enough couldn't watch any more news, ever

The Real Neo said...

Hi. 1st of all, you rock. i've only read a few of your posts but you crack me up. You are very well spoken and your writing style is very aggressive, which I think is cool.

no, i never have watched 10 straight hours of CNN but I can tell you ESPN is very siilar, at least lae at night. I would watch sportscenter every time it was on, sometimes even back to back episodes where NOTHING changed. WHy did I watch it repeatedly? Fair question, used to be addicted to sports.

It is awesome that you are rereading the DaVinci code to prepare for the movie, I thought I was the only one who did that (not specifically for this movie in particular, mostly for Harry potter but still:)

QVC, you madem e msile with that one. My mother, when she was alive, used to watch that channel all the time and we would always have a package or two arriving on a weekly basis. I couldn't understand it at the time but she LOVED it. Thanks for the good memory and the smile.

Keep up the good work.