Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Unsafe Sex leads to baby?!! Noooooo.....

I am pissed off at Jamie Lynn Spears. How dare she make Britney, the fodder of all my best jokes, look like the responsible sibling? Shame on you. Skank.

Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney's 16-year-old sister and star of the hit Nickelodeon TV show "Zoey 101" is pregnant.

JL was quoted by OK! Magazine saying "It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected. I was in complete and total shock and so was he."

In my current obsession Spring Awakening (and sorry for the spoiler kids) the main female character becomes pregnant. This was after she directly asked her mother where babies came from and her mother was too embarrassed to share with her the birds and the bees. All Wendla's mother told her was that to conceive you must be married and really love your husband. And then, voila, the baby comes. So when Wendla unknowingly conceives she tells her mom, but I'm not even married. Like Jamie Lynn, Wendla was also in shock. But seriously, did JL really not hear the news that sex leads to baby? Did mom Lynne Spears really not share with her daughter this crucial information? Better question, why hasn't Jamie Lynn seen Juno yet? Teenagers are no longer in the dark. This isn't 1890's Germany where Wendla was raised. If you get pregnant as a teenager nowadays, you don't have the right to be "in complete and total shock". Get a grip JL. You should have used a condom.

At least her sister Britney knew how to play the game. She swore to her legions of loyal pre-teen fans that she was a virgin at 16 because at least then she realized how impressionable these kids were. Or how lucrative her association with Disney was. Whichever. And this was while her boyfriend Justin Timberlake was beginning to tell a very different story. Of course everything since has gone downhill for trainwreck Britney. But at least back then, she knew what it meant to be a moral leader to pre-pubescents. I can't believe I'm saying this, but props to Britney. Next time make sure your kid sister is listening.

I'm taking bets for how quickly Jamie Lynn's hit Nickelodeon TV show will be off the air. They have already completed taping an entire additional season. Will it ever be aired? When will parents start picketing at Nickelodeon headquarters? Will there be room for them to picket alongside all the Writers Guild members? I give it one month.

Thanks to the Rabbi I share my corner office with this Newsweek article from October 2nd of this year was brought to me attention. It opens with: Jamie Lynn Spears wants to be known as a great actress—no drama, antics or tabloids involved. It then notes the trials of other tween celebrities like Miley Cyrus of "Hannah Montana" whom pregnancy rumors swirled around days earlier. They then do a Q & A about what its like to be a typical high school kid. They asked her specifically about Miley's "pregnancy scare" rumors and how the tabloids affect young celebs and she said "I stay out of that because I'm always at home; I don't go anywhere or do anything." Who knew? Immaculate Conception. Excelllent.

Jamie Lynn Speaks Out!!! 12/26/08


Seth said...

This is why I don't bother paying attention to Hollywood anymore. It depresses me too much to think about what is happening with society's "heroes" that kids look up to as role models. It bodes very ill for the future.

You coming for Shabbos?

Chaya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chaya said...

Ironically. Mrs. Spears was writing a book on what an excellent mother she is.

The book is now on hold.