EAT THAT SIMON! DAVID COOK IS MY IDOL!

I already had a message prepared here lambasting the American Idol judges for crowning Archuleta champion on last night's finale. That was right before Ryan announced DAVID COOK was the new American Idol winner. Moments prior Simon Cowell decided to apologize for coming down on Cook too hard last night. Well Simon, too little, too late I'd say. But STUFF IT! Your boy lost. American Idol voters, you've restored my faith in the next generation! And by 12 million votes, David Cook is officially THE MAN! Way to go my Little Cookie! Who else was waiting for Archuleta's dad's head to explode? Now THAT would have made my night!

Who paid Simon Cowell?

Oh Simon. David Archuleta didn't prove anything tonight. David Cook was the bomb on tonight's American Idol finale. For my boy Cook to win, I had to counter those rapid 13-year-old David Archuleta fans. I needed to fight fire with fire. So far, I've called David Cook's voting line IDOLS-05 about 25 times, and I'm still going. Although, not winning Idol isn't a death sentance, per say. Remember Chris Daughtry? Well, Chris, David Cook is on your heels. Get running!

David Archuleta Supporters are Big Babies

Some babe (or really gay male) just verbally attacked me for putting down David Archuleta. Don't his fans have anything better to do with their time? Honey, when you graduate from middle school and have to deal with real world issues like picking out a prom dress (fyi: I was prom queen runner-up) you will understand that attacking a fellow human being who is using their right to free speech is pretty damn lame. And if you are going to do it, at least be eloquent and use spell check and punctuation.

To paraphrase:
"you know you jerks david is better than all of you and he is hott!!! he will be the next american idol...u guys dont have the right to put down david because you don't even know him soooo yea david will win and u guys will be bitches for the rest of ur life haaa superman that yeahhh i said it JERKS!!!!

The part taken out was a long tirade where this individual spent an hour calling me fat. Yeah, that adds validity to your conjecture.

P.S. What the hell does "superman that" even mean? Oy, kids today. Please God don't let this commenter be a 35 year old man...

DAVID COOK RULES!!!

The End is Near

I am is voting for John McCain. No not really. I like him a lot. Hes a stand up dude. He came in 5th place on my list ranking presidential hopefuls last April behind Al Gore, Hillary, Bill Richardson, and John Edwards, respectfully. Only problem, hes a Republican and I just can't force myself to yank the level in their direction. I made that comment to express my disdain for the Democratic Electorate. You guys are comparable to the people who have been voting for Jason Castro week after week on American Idol. Complete imbeciles. Lets vote for the guy because hes so handsome and has such a nice smile (read: Obama). But not the chick who has the lung capacity to get the job done (read: Hillary, oh, and Carly Smithson for that matter). My Fellow Democrats, as we watch Hillary Clinton's campaign come to a complete stop, I'd like to take this time to admonish you. You suck.

My friend ES who happens to be more obsessed with Hillary than I commented this morning that he'd rather move to Mexico than vote for McCain or Obama. I corrected him and said "Dude, didn't you get the memo. We don't threaten to move to Mexico. Only Canada. I'll meet you in Montreal in November." Doesn't everyone read Stuff White People Like? Cuz they hit the nail on the head.

Anyhoo, as always, I hate being the buzzkill, but I am a realist. And in my mind, last night was my last hope of seeing Hillary take the presidency. So lets sit back and see where this journey now takes us.

David Archuleta Sucks Take 2

So I just wanted to say how funny I find it that I write a blog about my disdain for that little Mousketeer David Archuleta and I patiently wait until American Idol airs on the East Coast. Each week at approximately 9:05 EST my blog post begins to get comments agreeing that David is an overrated twerp. Hundreds of people every week are Googling David Archuleta Sucks and Susanne's Blog is one of the first hits. I have never been so proud.

David Archuleta Sucks!

Ooooh, I'm just waiting for the Susanne bashing to begin. I read a review in New York Magazine's online edition about last night's Idol performance. And they LOVE David Archuleta. I still haven't gotten on the boat. Just like the message I have for my Obamaphile friends, I'm just not ready to go there. So I posted the below comment after reading the article that I thought I'd share:

"I am still not figuring out the whole David Archuleta obsession. I admit he has a pretty voice. But this is voting for the whole package and I ain't voting for a kid that doesn't even know who wrote some of the songs he sings or the fact that "Another Day in Paradise" is not a happy song (its about homelessness you moron, not a vacation at Atlantis). David Cook is the one I think is a star. Even though everyone keeps claiming he's steailing arrangements from other groups. What he's done with his latest performances (Eleanor Rigby, Billie Jean) has been brilliant. Like when Brooke White did Love Is a Battlefield as a ballad. Amazing! It would have been perfect in my book if she didn't do basically the same exact performance every single week. Good season so far. I'm waiting until the day when Archuleta loses it and runs off stage. That'll be the day."

As soon as David Cook loses his flock of seagulls haircut, I think he'll be going places.

A Crying Shame...

Okay, so other than my roommate ST and my officemate Tamarzeepoo, very few people know about my newly discovered passion for American Idol. This is the first year that I've consistently watched the show. Its also the first year that I've owned DVR so I'm sure theres a correllation since I can now fast forwarding through the Idols I hate and pause for moments like this:


Thats right. We first saw this weeper appear around the time that Sanjaya was performing. My guess was that his voice was causing a painful aneurysm. Or she saw the chick wearing a "Fanjaya" shirt. That sight was enough to make me barf. Viewers were baffled. I thought she might have been the reincarnation of the scary blond kid from Poltergeist. But she wasn't. Defamer got the whole story.

Is Paula Abdul for real?

Seriously, we all know that she is messed up, but why on Earth did the American Idol producers allow her to go on these interviews in the state shes in? Hell, I'd rather watch Randy Jackson saying "dawg" for an hour. Oy Vey! Check these out. Even the interviewers are unable to keep a straight face.