Everyones a Little Bit Racist

Its true. I doesn't mean we go out committing hate crimes or anything as noted in the Avenue Q song entitled "Everyones a Little Bit Racist". And even the most tolerant person has moments of being judgemental of a particular minority. Well folks, one blogger created a site that is, I guess, self mocking. Stuff White People Like I can only guess is written by some white dude or chick, because it is pretty darn accurate. My favorite post so far is entitled #75 Threatening to Move to Canada (which is coincidentally where gay Rod's "girlfriend" Alberta lives in Avenue Q).

***DISCLAIMER***
I am not racist.

Bitch is the New Black

Get it while its there. Will be taken down by NBC Universal in the very near future. Tina Fey exhorts why Hillary should be the next President. Her defense, shes a bitch. But you know what, bitches get stuff done. Thats right. Bitch is the New Black!



*UPDATE*

"And like that, (s)he's gone." Just one hour after posting, the clip was removed. NBC Universal can kiss my tuchus. Okay, now you have to go to the official site to view the vid. Here you go. The Clinton bit is about a minute and a half in. Enjoy!

Things I learned from being on Cable News

Last night I took part in a Frank Luntz focus group, which turned out to be a live taping for You Decide 2008 on the Fox News Channel. It was an altogether awesome experience, thank you very much. Although, Frank is a die hard Republican pollster (which I should hate), the dude knows his stuff and I respect him for that. This focus group was very well picked. 29 people, a third leaning Republican, a third independent, a third leaning Democrat. None were 100% convinced who they will vote for this election. I've said before, I support Hillary. But if she doesn't win the nomination I will strongly consider John McCain. We were asked to support our decisions. When the dude next to me, a registered Democrat but voting Republican this year, said that the Dem candidates haven't impressed him, they are both being wishy washy, making speeches and false promises, I offered a rebuttal. Yes, there is a Democratic candidate that has stepped up, and thats Senator Clinton. As she said over the weekend, speeches are great, but they don't fill up your gas tank, fixing the economy does that (a direct attack on Obama and his lofty speeches). Plus, she has the experience to get these things done. That was basically my only sound bite of the night, but I think it was a good one. ;) GO HILL!! Here's the clip of me speaking up:



There was also a special guest on the show, none other than the Former Mayor of Cinncinati, Jerry Springer. THIS. DUDE. RULES. Earlier in the taping, before we know of his appearance, Frank told us to feel free to get rowdy and argue your points with other audience members. I was like, yeah, I'm going to pick up my chair and get all Jerry Springer on you. So when he came out, I was fired up. You can see me on camera, as soon as they announce the surprise guest was from Cincinnati I almost jumped out of my chair. I was like, dude, we were just talking about you. I got to shake his hand later. I was like Jerry, you are the man. I'm not ever washing this hand again. I tried to start a chant, JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! Apparently, chanting is frowned upon at the Fox News Channel. The host at one point joked during commercial, that Jerry is here to announce he is running for Senate. I was truly intrigued by this idea. Hell, if Al Franken has a shot...

I learned two things tonight. One political. One, um, not so much.

1) Independents and Republicans, much like me, don't believe a word that Obama has to say. This is not a positive thing come general election if he is our nominee. There were several Obama supporters in the room, but not one of them could articulate why he should be the nominee. Not one could define what the Senator meant when he said change. Its one thing to jump on the bandwagon and blindly vote, but come on people. Its like in 2000 when all my friends voted Bush simply because their Rabbi got up one Shabbos and said, Bush is the best candidate for Israel, and everyone in the congregation believed him. Any candidate this year, Democrat or Republican, Hillary or Barack, John on Mike, they ALL will support Israel. Israel is mucho importante to the USA and no Pres will blow that.

There was a question asked today on the Fox News (right leaning) website that quantifies the point. Does Barack Obama's campaign rhetoric have substance behind it?
No (58%)Yes (35%)Don't know (6%). Like me, these folks believe he's talking the talk, and not prepared to walk the walk.


2) Frank asked the question, you're so lucky to be here, what else would you be doing on a Sunday night? The very straight, college professor type to my right was like, um, sit on the couch and watch the L Word. Right on my friend. I've always been a little embarrassed to admit my affinity to this show since well, its about a bunch of lesbians living in LA. Not that anyone should doubt the fact that I'm totally into dudes, I drool over Brad Pitt like any other red blooded female and have a boyfriend of my own. But theres still that fear of stigma to watch the show. But, as I've said many times, its one of the funniest shows on TV. The Single White Female stalker thing thats going on now between Jenny and her assistant Adelle is more comical than homicidal. So now I have learned, many straight Americans (Republicans I might add) love this show as much as I. Phew!

ROCK THE VOTE PEOPLE!

Baruch Dayan Emes

I just received a Breaking News Alert from JTA that Tom Lantos has passed away. He was 80. I wrote about his retirement from congress just last month due to sickness. He was a longtime crusader for Jewish issues during his time spent in congress. I hope that his family finds consolation in the fact that he used his position for good and helped thousands of people throughout the United States and abroad. May God console his family among the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

Am I Crazy?

I know its crazy but as I read my glorious NY Times on the subway this morning I had an epiphany. We need a Clinton/Obama ticket! I know. I can't believe the thought slipped out of my brain. But how amazing would that be? This would ensure that we will have an incredible President in the White House for the next 16 years. Heres my take. I love Obama. But I do not think he's ready for the White House. As I've said before, I find experience to be one of my strongest tugs when choosing a candidate. I think Clinton is ready, Obama is not. But don't get me wrong. I am incredibly inspired by this guy. Have you heard this speech? I've said many times I plan to vote for him in 8 years. Even on my account I voted NO to Will there be a Clinton/Obama or Obama/Clinton Ticket? I know that there is a lot of animosity between the two of them but they must broker a deal and make this happen. Look at the votes collected last night. It was like the 2000 Presidential election in that Hillary won the popular vote in many of the big states (CA,NY, MA) but Obama was drawing more people from the larger urban areas and therefore scored almost as many delegates. Obama took almost the entire midwest while Hillary scored some southen states. Together they are unbeatable. I think either of them separate may fall to Senator McCain. I like this even more than my previous favorite, the Clinton/Richardson ticket. Would I vote the other way? An Obama/Clinton ticket. See that I don't know. Right now, Americans are open to the idea of a female president, but I don't know how open they would be to a 69 year old female president (her age in January 2016). That could hurt the Democrats when that time comes. Look at John McCain. This dude has stellar credentials. But hes like 72 and people are scared he's going to keel over in the Oval. And God Forbid he chooses Huckabee as his running mate (my current Predictify prediction). No more anti-semites in the White House. Thats my policy. I apologize for all my poli talk. I know. I'm usually way funner than this. I just needed to share this amazing revelation with all of you...

Why I'm Voting Hillary

I know there'll be no time in my schedule to write this tomorrow. Crazy day with many many things to take care of before the NJOP dinner. But in about 7 hours I will be walking down to the Holy Rood Church on 179th street and pulling the level of freedom. Tomorrow, I will be voting in person for the first time in 10 years. Since I've been 18 I moved to New York for college and regrettably haven't moved back. I retained my California voting eligibility and have voted absentee ever since. Why you may ask? Well, my Congressman in the 46th district of California is in my eyes a pretty huge anti-semite, so I like to stick it to him every two years when he's up for re-election. You know those Israel bills in Congress that are voted in favor of by 430 members of the House, and against by 5. Yeah, hes one of the 5. But this year, someone I am very passionate about is running for President and I wanted to physically walk into my neighborhood polling station and give her a shout out. I'm of course talking about Hillary Clinton.

I know, I know. You hate her. I'm aware of that. Have you ever met her? Sat down and had a conversation? Well I have. And I can honestly say I haven't been more impressed by someone in my life. I've met other politicians before. But when you are in the room with her, you know she is taking in what you have to say, thinks about it and gives you a solid, honest answer. Theres a story I want to share with you. My buddy Sari was a political machine while in Stern College. She organized a huge Rally to DC. She was my roommate when we did the OU internship in DC. She volunteered for the mayoral campaign (not for Giuliani). She called one night and asked if I wanted to volunteer at an intimate Hillary event. We got to a restaurant on the Upper East Side and helped out at an event for about 100 people. Afterward they asked if one of us could accompany the team to a small after party at a donor's home. Little did I know this was for only about 20 people in a gorgeous UES penthouse (overlooking the park). I went since Sari had plans later that night. Hillary arrived and was introduced to everyone. Including this horrible host lady's servants (who BTW she was incredibly kind to, even while weirded out that this lady had servants in her home). After working the room and spending a great deal of time speaking to everyone individually, including myself, she announced that she had to leave, she was on the red eye to Israel that evening. What you are about to read is possibly the biggest regret of my life. Are you ready? Okay, here goes... Hillary was saying her goodbyes to everyone. I got the idea that I really wanted to give her shliach mitzvah gelt. When someone is travelling, especially to Israel, some people have the custom to give that person some tzedakah, money to give to charity when they arrive, thereby making them a part of my mitzvah and essentially helping ensure a safe trip as your shliach, your messenger to deliver the tzedakah. Whether that is the true definition I don't know, but that is how I view it. I wanted to do this because A) I always try to give someone going to the Holy Land, and B) I knew Hillary would sincerely be touched by my proposition. Although, I was a little scared someone would shout a picture of me slipping money to my Senator. Especially with all the heat in '01 about soft money. But alas, as she worked her way through the room towards me, I became totally starstruck. She remembered my name (from hours earlier) and all I could squeek out was "I really admire you and your daughter". At least thats all I can remember. If I had a list of 10 do-overs in my life, this would be one of them. What a cool story that would be.

I'm not going to tell you to vote for Hillary just because I am. I'm not going to tell you to vote for her because there won't be another viable female candidate for at least another 20 years (when I plan to start running for office). I'm not going to tell you to vote for her because we would get to have my favorite former President again living in the White House. I'm going to tell you to vote for her because she is the right candidate. I am a strong believer in voting for the person with the best experience and the person who can lead this country in the right direction. Those are the two qualities I find most important in a President and shes number one on my list (because Al Gore isn't running, otherwise she might be number 2). We have been going downhill ever since Bush's dad's Supreme Court gave him the White House. We need to take this country back and move it in the right direction. And Hillary's the girl who will get us there. The odds are in favor of Obama taking the nomination but I'm not ready to jump on that bandwagon and throw him my vote. I believe in Hillary Clinton.

Addendum
I just got back from voting. It was really hard. I didn't know what to do. I had to ask the poll watcher for help. I did learn something though. You know how candidates that have already dropped out of the race end up getting 1% of the vote...its cause they are still on the ballot. People probably see that and go, hmmm Bill Richardson, I thought he dropped out, but hey hes still on here so I must be mistaken. Also, WTF are all those other names doing on the ballot? I swear there were like 100 names on there. I thought this was just the presidential primary...there should be like 6 names on the darn board. Do we really have to have the names of everyone who endorsed the various candidates listed on the ballot as well? How confusing. I consider myself a pretty intelligent person, and frankly I was kind of embarrassed at how much trouble I had understanding this process. Plus, I was DYING to get one of those "I VOTED" stickers and they totally weren't giving them out. Sooooo sad!

As I left my polling station I began to tear up. I didn't think this would make me so emotional but it did. This is democracy in action people. Not taking advantage of this incredible gift is one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make. Rock the Vote people!!! And remember, Friends don't let friends Vote Republican!

Things I Hate: Round 2

Nothing makes me angrier than when someone steals my NY Times in the morning. The worst is on the weekends. If you don't snag yours before 10 am someone in my building just assumes I don't want it and takes it for themselves. Lately, I've just taken it with me to shul on Saturday mornings. Its always good to have something to read during the Rabbi's sermon, but I'd prefer to leave it at my apartment building and have it waiting for me when I get home after lunch. On weekdays, when someone snags my paper I am forced to pick up a NY Post from the bodega at the corner. Is it just me or does everyone judge people who read the Post? Its not a real newspaper. I'm convinced that they have employed a junior high school newspaper club to write their articles. They have that certain junior high ring to them. Anyway, as I sat on the subway reading my 25 cent NY Post I felt like everyone was staring at me thinking, oy, she looks so intelligent, yet shes reading the Post. We were so wrong to assume she was brilliant. Does anyone else feel that way?

Oh, and another thing to piss off all my reader's who are obsessed with Obama. The Post chose him as their candidate of choice today. Right next to a big article about a black cop who was running an under age prostitution ring. Not really an endorsement he's going to tout.

BIG NEWS

Susanne is looking forward to sharing her BIG news with the WORLD! Soon soon my friends! And no, its not what you people who pounced on me upon seeing on the Facebook Newsfeed "Susanne is no longer single" are thinking. This news is work related. And its HUGE! Get ready to virally spread the word to all of your favorite Jewish peeps, blogs, and websites. And since I am talking about work, I'm happy to announce that my blog has a new #1 fan. Sorry Diana. My boss, Rabbi Rosenbaum, was forwarded a link to my blog and hasn't stopped talking about it. Thanks Melanie for passing it on. Really, thanks... I'm glad I've always kept things on here strictly kosher. ;)

Ahh Bushie

I love the State of the Union Address. Not only does it come with its very own drinking game, but its also the one day of year the the United States congress gets to act like the British House of Commons. I love all the hooting and hollering. I'll update you on my drinking game progress as we go.

The doors open and the Sergeant-at-Arms says Madam Speaker. I still get excited when I hear that. Madam Speaker. Its only the second time he opened with that. She became Speaker just 20 days prior to last years SOTU address. Last year I teared up. Hmm, next year, Madam President? We shall see.

Now heres the low down on his address based on my drinking.

Oh, spotted my congressman, Charlie Rangel, drink one and pat yourself on the back for being able to identify your congressman/woman.

Did the President just mention Hispanish students? Oy. Bushism, have a drink.

Another Bushism so soon? I think I hear Nukular.

Ted Kennedy...sleeping. Drink until your liver cries. 5 minutes later. Ted again. Opening beer number 3.

Showing a current presidential candidate. Theres Hillary in her snazzy red pantsuit. There she is again. And again. Damn, Obama should have worn a red suit. He sitting next to Ted yet the camera hasn't once panned over. Does MSNBC favor Senator Clinton?!

President introduces an energy goal. Take a shot.

Earmarks! Tug on your ear while taking a drink. I wish he had said pork barreling instead. Then we'd get to oink.

Border security? Tequila time!

Buy produce from farmers in developing countries. This isn't a drinking point but still. Um hello, what about our US farmers? Doesn't the president read my blog? Sheesh!

Some guy sitting behind the first lady is clapping with one hand. Only person I know who does that is Bob Dole, but what the heck would he be doing there. Oh, now the Prez is talking about Bob Dole's recommendations to reform our veteran system, care for wounded warriors. It is him! Bob Dole is back people! Take a swig of Pepsi!

Prez has finished his address and is leaving the hall. Ouch, he just ignored Obama's hand not once but twice.

Ted kennedy again, this time with his son, Congressman Patrick Kennedy (a stand up dude BTW, used to see him in the visitor's dining room in the Capitol instead of the Member's only room. I alway dug that.)

President just outside the Chamber giving openly gay Rep. Barney Frank and warm half hug hello. Hmm, thats a guy I didn't envision him being all touchy feely with.

My thoughts on the speech overall. Eh. He didn't say much. Looks like this just might be a Lamer Duck than we expected. He was practically endorsing John McCain. What with all his talk about supporting the troops, getting rid of earmarks, etc... gee, I wonder who hes voting for?

And finally, who is this chick giving the Democratic response? The Governor of Kansas? Shes not even up for re-election. What the hell was she doing there? At least let someone cool speak. Like Jim Webb last year was so badass.

Anyhoo, those are my comments. I drank three beers and am now eating vanilla pudding. It is yummy.

Heath Ledger's Passing

Heath died last Tuesday afternoon. I found out when I refreshed my Facebook Home screen and saw that Seth Galena had mentioned his passing as his Status Update. That was at 4:56 PM, only two hours after he was pronounced dead. Hell, Heath's family members may not even have heard in that amount of time. And then the stories began pouring out in the media. He OD'ed. He committed suicide. He was surrounded by pills. Or my favorite, he was found lying on the floor naked. People, come on. He was found by his masseuse and housekeeper lying in bed. When they tried to rouse him they realized there was trouble. When the EMTS arrived they took him out of the bed and put him on the floor. There were pills in the room. All prescribed and in their correct pill bottles. The way the media convoluted the story made us all think he was found sprawled out on his bedroom floor with pill capsules around his body. Let the man die with a little dignity. The meds he did have (sleeping pills, anxiety medication), hell thats stuff that almost every New Yorker has a prescription for. It doesn't mean if you have it you abuse it. I'd prefer to not accuse him of abusing drugs and overdosing. This is the dude that when in the tabloids it wasn't partying and acting stupid. He was the guy carrying his two-year-old daughter on his shoulders. Drinking coffee at a cafe. Ordering water at a club. Some people just die. Untimely as it might be, it does happen. When you're not a doctor you don't know if your sleeping pill might not be good to take if you have a cold. Your anxiety medicine might have a bad interaction with grapefruit juice (true story, by the way). He may have had a heart defect. Who the hell knows. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here. It might bite me in the behind if test results come back positive of anything not kosher. But this guy really touched me with some of his roles. He was in several of my favorite movies. I still remember which theater I saw 10 Things I Hate About You at, who I saw it with, and where we went for a bite to eat after. That was 9 years ago. Silly as it seems, I really dug it. I wanted to write all this pent up annoyance all week but I just couldn't find the time. Then today I was flipping channels and I saw that Brokeback Mountain was on. Its the first time I saw him on screen since he passed away. He was so damn talented and had decades left of creativity in him that we are never going to see. That made me very sad. Only a couple actors each generation have that gift. And we just lost one. Rest in Peace Heath.

My Safari

I went to a liquer tasting on my cruise with my parent's last year and tried a delicious drink called Amarula. I realized later it wasn't kosher but the one opportunity I had it was incredible. When I went to their website to check their kashrus status I signed up for all their mailing lists. I randomly got in the mail last month a holiday gift of an Amarula apron. Really super cool. I got an email today about entering a raffle to win an African safari. I like contests so what the hey, I entered.

The contest is as follows: Ever dreamt of a journey to Africa? Or witnessing majestic elephants in the wild? Submit a special moment and if it’s selected as the ultimate Amarula moment, you could win a trip to Africa. What is an Amarula moment? Any special memory that's cause for celebration. Share yours, and you could be packing your bags!

So I wrote about the trip I was on when I first tasted their delicious drink. And made it sound all sappy to win the contest. Below is my entry.



Being in my late 20s and having my parents in their 60s I realize that I unfortunately don't have too many opportunities left to go on vacation with both of my parents. Not that they God Forbid are getting too old (they are both "Recycled Teenagers" after all), but we do not often have vacation breaks at the same time of year. Last winter they offered to take me along on their grand cruise of the Eastern Carribean and I quickly accepted. It was 11 joyful days that we got to spend together. This picture was taken on the picturesque beach in the Cayman Islands. I look forward to the next opportunity we have to travel the world together. Perhaps to a kibbutz in Israel, the Eiffel Tower in Paris, or an exhilirating African Safari (hint, hint!). Although the best vacation might just be sitting on the couch at my parent's house in California. There's nowhere else I'd rather be...


I'll let y'all know how it goes.

Predictify.com

My friend Josh told me about the above site and its pretty cool. You make predictions about many different things (ie Politics, Box Offices Grosses, Sports Scores) and for some of your correct predictions you can win a cash prize. This isn't fake, Josh has made over $100. Not every predicition has the possiblity of a cash prize, some you'll only be answering for your own enjoyment. I don't know who or what's bankrolling this site, most likely polling firms, but who cares. I like money. So check out the site, and have a good time.

PBR Takes Manhattan!

Last weekend was the PBR Versus Invitational in Madison Square Garden. Seeing these cowboys from deep in the Heartland riding on the backs of some of the rankest bulls in Midtown Manhattan was exhilirating. As Reifer pointed out, these cowboys are from towns so small, its amazing that they are actually traveling to the big city. One rider, McKennon Wimberly, is from Cool, TX, population, according to the 2000 census, 162. Or 161 on PBR weekends since McKennon is out of town. Theres more people than that living in my apartment building!

A gigantic group travelled from my shul in Washington Heights to see the bull riding. Or rodeo as these city folk erroneously called it. This ain't a rodeo kids. Its PBR!

I went on Saturday night with a group of buddies for my friend Shosh's birthday (Happy Birthday Shosh!) and wore my best country garb. Tight jeans, boots, and my trusty cowboy hat. I had a good time teaching them the ropes. Shosh and I, who attended the event last year (and sat next to George Strait!) cheered widely as the major riders were introduced (Adriano Moraes! Justin McBride!!)

Reifer and I returned on Sunday for the final round. I got to watch my current favorite Mike Lee (only because my total fave Justin McBride is injured) ride all 5 bulls he was given maintaining his amazing season of zero buck offs. Very very impressive. We sat behind this awesome kid who was totally into it (picture above). She was cheering wildly after each good ride. She was sooo cute.

Well, I guess I'll have to wait til next year to catch the live event again. Although I'll be watching every weekend on Versus and on their PBR YouTube channel. Maybe I'll even trek out to the World Finals in Las Vegas in October. We shall see.

Things I Hate: Round 1

I had thought I started this running tirade a long time ago. But I can't find it so I am starting anew. Round 1.

I hate the perky morning people in my office. They go around saying good morning to everyone all perkily. Come on man, at least wait until I've had my second cup of coffee. Especially if you are the lady who always expects a response to her "Good Morning". If I squeek out a "hi" she should find it sufficient. This morning one guy actually said, "Good Morning! Its a beautiful day!!" I nearly strangled him.

Tom Lantos

Tom Lantos is awesome. I just got a JTA Breaking News update that he is to retire from the US House of Representatives. He is a Holocaust survivor and has been a huge advocate for Jewish rights while spending almost 30 years in Congress. He is currently the Chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee. I heard him speak when I interned in DC in 2001 and was impressed with his story and passion to work hard on some of the most important issues. The JTA release has him quoted as saying, "It is only in the United States that a penniless survivor of the Holocaust and a fighter in the anti-Nazi underground could have received an education, raised a family, and had the privilege of serving the last three decades of his life as a member of Congress. I will never be able to express fully my profoundly felt gratitude to this great country."

He is retiring because he is suffering from cancer. I wish him a Refuah Shleima, a speedy and complete recovery.

A Goldstone New Year's Eve

My New Year's was pretty awesome. Party at Sharon and Devorah's was like their best one ever. I got to play Super Mario 3 while a little intoxicated which is always fun. We didn't bust out the DDR or karaoke like at previous #52 parties, but we had a sweet New Year's anyway.

A fun story is about how the senior Goldstones spent their evening. My parents have friends that come to LA every year from Detroit for the holidays so they always try to find something new and exciting to do each NYE. Someone said there was to be a big fabulous concert at the Walt Disney Concert Hall. So my mom bought tickets for them and their friends, all Detroiters in their 60s. Turns out the show was featuring Belinda Carlisle of 80's all girl band fame and the flaming Rufus Wainwright whos last album was a noted Judy Garland tribute. Let's just say my dad and the other fellows in their group were the only straight men in the audience. Plus, it was entirely in French! When I called them yesterday to find out how their night was and heard about the concert I was cracking up. My dad said that the show the couple was putting on in the seats to his left was far more entertaining than the one on stage. Good one Dad!

Bring on 2008!

2007- Comes and Goes

As I sit here listening to All the Things That I've Done by the Killers as I write my end of year blog post I think the Killers' lyrics sum up 2007 pretty well.

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Thats 2007 in a nutshell for me.

2007 was the year I discovered Spring Awakening, Veronica Mars and How I Met Your Mother, three things that make me extremely happy. Give me any one of those things (and a scotch and soda) and I'm a happy camper. I'm so easy to please. I became a registered Marriage Officiant (just like Barney Stinson, seen in the photo above) and have so far stopped three Orthodox couples from living in sin (in the eyes of the Federal Government, they were already halachically wed at the time of the civil ceremony). My bro Alan just became engaged to an awesome girl. But I think they're going to go the more traditional route and have her Rabbi cousin oversee the nuptials. Oh well, their loss. I am hysterical in my ridiculous clergymember role. Anyhoo, things are looking up on the Susanne front.

Whether you are in New York, California, Colorado, Israel or Thailand, I hope you all have a Happy, Healthy, Safe and Legen-Wait for It-Dary New Year! Love ya!

Unsafe Sex leads to baby?!! Noooooo.....

I am pissed off at Jamie Lynn Spears. How dare she make Britney, the fodder of all my best jokes, look like the responsible sibling? Shame on you. Skank.

Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney's 16-year-old sister and star of the hit Nickelodeon TV show "Zoey 101" is pregnant.

JL was quoted by OK! Magazine saying "It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected. I was in complete and total shock and so was he."

In my current obsession Spring Awakening (and sorry for the spoiler kids) the main female character becomes pregnant. This was after she directly asked her mother where babies came from and her mother was too embarrassed to share with her the birds and the bees. All Wendla's mother told her was that to conceive you must be married and really love your husband. And then, voila, the baby comes. So when Wendla unknowingly conceives she tells her mom, but I'm not even married. Like Jamie Lynn, Wendla was also in shock. But seriously, did JL really not hear the news that sex leads to baby? Did mom Lynne Spears really not share with her daughter this crucial information? Better question, why hasn't Jamie Lynn seen Juno yet? Teenagers are no longer in the dark. This isn't 1890's Germany where Wendla was raised. If you get pregnant as a teenager nowadays, you don't have the right to be "in complete and total shock". Get a grip JL. You should have used a condom.

At least her sister Britney knew how to play the game. She swore to her legions of loyal pre-teen fans that she was a virgin at 16 because at least then she realized how impressionable these kids were. Or how lucrative her association with Disney was. Whichever. And this was while her boyfriend Justin Timberlake was beginning to tell a very different story. Of course everything since has gone downhill for trainwreck Britney. But at least back then, she knew what it meant to be a moral leader to pre-pubescents. I can't believe I'm saying this, but props to Britney. Next time make sure your kid sister is listening.

I'm taking bets for how quickly Jamie Lynn's hit Nickelodeon TV show will be off the air. They have already completed taping an entire additional season. Will it ever be aired? When will parents start picketing at Nickelodeon headquarters? Will there be room for them to picket alongside all the Writers Guild members? I give it one month.

*****UPDATE*****
Thanks to the Rabbi I share my corner office with this Newsweek article from October 2nd of this year was brought to me attention. It opens with: Jamie Lynn Spears wants to be known as a great actress—no drama, antics or tabloids involved. It then notes the trials of other tween celebrities like Miley Cyrus of "Hannah Montana" whom pregnancy rumors swirled around days earlier. They then do a Q & A about what its like to be a typical high school kid. They asked her specifically about Miley's "pregnancy scare" rumors and how the tabloids affect young celebs and she said "I stay out of that because I'm always at home; I don't go anywhere or do anything." Who knew? Immaculate Conception. Excelllent.

Jamie Lynn Speaks Out!!! 12/26/08

Props to John

For those of you who read my initial post about my Presidential candidate favorites last April you would know that of all the Republicans in this great nation, the only one I would ever think of voting for is Senator John McCain. Yesterday he picked up major endorsements from the major newspapers in Iowa and New Hampshire as well as the coolest Orthodox Jew in national politics, Senator Joe Lieberman. If Lieberman's support can push all the undecideds in McCain's direction he might have a fighting chance or else one of the other Republican imbeciles will score the candidacy. This could shape up to be an interesting race after all. Not that any of them can beat my girl Hill. My dream tickets for the 2008 election are as follows. Drumroll please....
For the Dems: Hillary and Bill Richardson. For the GOP: McCain and Joe Lieberman. This country has been going downhill for the last 7 years. Hopefully some of these peeps can get us back on track. Peace.

Its a Chanukah Miracle...

Nicole Richie chilling with some bochurim in LA. Thank goodness theres a picture on TMZ, otherwise I wouldn't have believed it.