Best Bush Picture EVER

I can't get enough of this. This is a picture of President Bush with all the leader's of NATO member countries in Bucharest, Romania posted in the NY Times on Friday. Stared at it for like 10 minutes on the subway on Friday afternoon and talked about it all Shabbos. I love the look on our President's face. I love all the hustle and bustle around him as he just stands there. I love that he's in the middle of the nations, yet doing nothing. Metaphor? Hmmm....

Things I Hate: Round 2

Nothing makes me angrier than when someone steals my NY Times in the morning. The worst is on the weekends. If you don't snag yours before 10 am someone in my building just assumes I don't want it and takes it for themselves. Lately, I've just taken it with me to shul on Saturday mornings. Its always good to have something to read during the Rabbi's sermon, but I'd prefer to leave it at my apartment building and have it waiting for me when I get home after lunch. On weekdays, when someone snags my paper I am forced to pick up a NY Post from the bodega at the corner. Is it just me or does everyone judge people who read the Post? Its not a real newspaper. I'm convinced that they have employed a junior high school newspaper club to write their articles. They have that certain junior high ring to them. Anyway, as I sat on the subway reading my 25 cent NY Post I felt like everyone was staring at me thinking, oy, she looks so intelligent, yet shes reading the Post. We were so wrong to assume she was brilliant. Does anyone else feel that way?

Oh, and another thing to piss off all my reader's who are obsessed with Obama. The Post chose him as their candidate of choice today. Right next to a big article about a black cop who was running an under age prostitution ring. Not really an endorsement he's going to tout.

Spring Awakening Giveaway

I posted on the Spring Awakening Fan Club message board that I have obtained one additional copy of the 2 full-page New York Times GAP ad featuring the entire original cast of Spring Awakening. I then went on to say that I am trying to find out a way to choose one lucky winner from the SA Fan Club. I have decided. There will be one trivia question. It is: Who bought me my Spring Awakening tickets for my birthday this year? The answer can be found somewhere on the World Wide Web. Those reading this post on my blog or in Facebook Notes are closer to finding the answer than they think...hint, hint. Send me a "Personal Message" on the Spring Awakening Fan Club site (my nickname is susqhb) and from the correct answers I will choose one winner. Good luck all!

Well that sucks!

So yesterday I headed down to Loehman's on 17th street and 7th avenue with my mom who was in town for a week. She wanted to "buy me a new wardrobe" or something to that extent. Seeing as how ungirly I am, this prospect was not as appealing to me as it would be for other girls. I was done looking for clothes in like 5 minutes picking out a brown dress (which I already have its identical in black), two identical blouses in different shades, and a black skirt which looks just like all my others. I was done. New wardrobe was in place. My mom was still standing at the August Silk rack pondering a sweater she'd picked up 10 minutes ago. I was already bored. Thank goodness I had brought along my Sunday NY Times. I opened quickly to my favorite section, Sunday Style, so I could look up all the Jewish couples in the wedding listings and see if I recognize any names of the officiating Rabbis. I work with Rabbis so its sometimes fun to be like "oh look, Rabbi Cohen from Texas. He's really nice!" I'm a huge dork. This is my weekly activity.

Unfortunately, I didn't quite make it to the wedding listings. On Page 1 I found the article Great Wedding! But Was It Legal? It seems that more and more Americans (myself included) were inspired by Joey Tribbiani on Friends when he applied online to be a Minister so he could officiate at Monica and Chandler's wedding. I thought becoming an ordained minister online would be a great story to tell around the Shabbos table. So I went to the Church of Spiritual Humanism's website, read their terms and conditions, decided this would be a good choice of online ministries since of all the online Churches I found, this seemed to be the most religion-free religion. I wouldn't be excommunicated from my shul for signing on. So I signed up. It wasn't until recently that a buddy of mine asked me to officiate her civil ceremony. Obviously, since I'm not a Rabbi I can not officiate the halachic ceremony, nor would I want to, but this would be a fun thing that the couple could do amongst a handful of friends and would have a funny anecdote for their grandkids. I have already been to a handful of these civil ceremonies (my roommate's at City Hall, and a couple in Rabbi Yuter's apartment). I was honored to be asked. I needed to go down to City Hall to get certified by the City of New York. Its one thing to have your ordination from somewhere, but the city must keep track of those people officiating legal ceremonies. I stood in line at the City Clerks office behind a nice Conservative Rabbi from Long Island. After a little wait I was presented with my Certificate of Ordination! I was fired up!


The New York Times has written that so many people are signing up as online ministers for the sole purpose of marrying a specific couple that many states are warning that these ministers may not have kosher enough ordination to be considered marriage officiants. The article states cases where the person applied online for their clergy title to marry someone and the marriage was later considered null since he wasn't "officially" ordained. Man! This is gonna be bad for business.

Heres the low down. According to my ministry, their members have successfully performed legal weddings in New York City. I had followed all the instructions listed on the City Clerk's website. The City Clerk read through the church's Articles of Incorporation (albeit was a strange and bemused look on her face), and stamped her approval on my Certificate. This article gave me (and the couple I'm marrying on Monday) a little scare, but we are now feeling a little more confident. So if you are in the midst of planning your wedding, commitment ceremony, baby naming, handfasting (which is some sort of satanic ceremony, from the descriptions I've read on Wikipedia), invocations, or other religious services and ceremonies, please remember that as an Ordained Clergy Person and Associate Pastor in the Church of Scientific Humanism, I can officiate your ceremony. You should put me on speed dial.

P.S. To all my friends who I haven't spoken to in a while. Have no fear. I have not converted to any strange religion or joined a crazy cult. I am still an Orthodox Jew and member in good standing of Mt. Sinai in Washington Heights. As always, I am a little nutty, but not enough for you to worry about.

My New York Times delivery guy sucks

I get the Times 7 days a week. For some reason the weekday delivery dude did not receive a new building key when we changed the locks to the building's main door. This means that I get my Saturday and Sunday papers delivered to my door while my weekday papers I pick up in my apartment's entry vestibule. This means that on Monday morning I don't always know what the weather is going to be like until I get downstairs, grab my paper, and scan the weather blurb on the front page. According to yesterday's copy of the NY Times, (which I base my Monday clothing choices on) today's weather should be in the high 50's/lower 60's, mild for this time of year. So I dressed accordingly based on that info. Today I'm wearing a t-shirt, cotton sweater, jean skirt without tights, tennis shoes, and a light spring raincoat. As I look out the window watching the freezing snow pour down I ponder the notion of a better system. Perhaps listening to Z100 for longer than "The Sleaze" would be a start. Wish me luck. Getting home is going to suck!

Maureen Agrees...

Maureen Dowd's column today in the New York Times was excellent. I recommend you all check it out. I always admire Maureen's candor and thoroughly enjoy how she seems to articulate my very own thoughts. She speaks the truth about what goes on in our nation's Capitol with what many regard as a liberal tint. But mostly I think its the truth plain and simple.

Today she talked about Dick Cheney's role in the current Iraqi conflict and how he has "an inspired alienation from reality". She even quoted the VP much like I did in Thursday's post in regards to the White House's reaction to bills criticizing the current surge of troops, “It won’t stop us,” Cheney remarked.

Maureen, you make my Wednesdays and Saturdays a little brighter. The only way I could be more excited is if they decide to include your column in the Times 7 days a week. A girl can wish.