Heath Ledger's Passing

Heath died last Tuesday afternoon. I found out when I refreshed my Facebook Home screen and saw that Seth Galena had mentioned his passing as his Status Update. That was at 4:56 PM, only two hours after he was pronounced dead. Hell, Heath's family members may not even have heard in that amount of time. And then the stories began pouring out in the media. He OD'ed. He committed suicide. He was surrounded by pills. Or my favorite, he was found lying on the floor naked. People, come on. He was found by his masseuse and housekeeper lying in bed. When they tried to rouse him they realized there was trouble. When the EMTS arrived they took him out of the bed and put him on the floor. There were pills in the room. All prescribed and in their correct pill bottles. The way the media convoluted the story made us all think he was found sprawled out on his bedroom floor with pill capsules around his body. Let the man die with a little dignity. The meds he did have (sleeping pills, anxiety medication), hell thats stuff that almost every New Yorker has a prescription for. It doesn't mean if you have it you abuse it. I'd prefer to not accuse him of abusing drugs and overdosing. This is the dude that when in the tabloids it wasn't partying and acting stupid. He was the guy carrying his two-year-old daughter on his shoulders. Drinking coffee at a cafe. Ordering water at a club. Some people just die. Untimely as it might be, it does happen. When you're not a doctor you don't know if your sleeping pill might not be good to take if you have a cold. Your anxiety medicine might have a bad interaction with grapefruit juice (true story, by the way). He may have had a heart defect. Who the hell knows. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here. It might bite me in the behind if test results come back positive of anything not kosher. But this guy really touched me with some of his roles. He was in several of my favorite movies. I still remember which theater I saw 10 Things I Hate About You at, who I saw it with, and where we went for a bite to eat after. That was 9 years ago. Silly as it seems, I really dug it. I wanted to write all this pent up annoyance all week but I just couldn't find the time. Then today I was flipping channels and I saw that Brokeback Mountain was on. Its the first time I saw him on screen since he passed away. He was so damn talented and had decades left of creativity in him that we are never going to see. That made me very sad. Only a couple actors each generation have that gift. And we just lost one. Rest in Peace Heath.

My Safari

I went to a liquer tasting on my cruise with my parent's last year and tried a delicious drink called Amarula. I realized later it wasn't kosher but the one opportunity I had it was incredible. When I went to their website to check their kashrus status I signed up for all their mailing lists. I randomly got in the mail last month a holiday gift of an Amarula apron. Really super cool. I got an email today about entering a raffle to win an African safari. I like contests so what the hey, I entered.

The contest is as follows: Ever dreamt of a journey to Africa? Or witnessing majestic elephants in the wild? Submit a special moment and if it’s selected as the ultimate Amarula moment, you could win a trip to Africa. What is an Amarula moment? Any special memory that's cause for celebration. Share yours, and you could be packing your bags!

So I wrote about the trip I was on when I first tasted their delicious drink. And made it sound all sappy to win the contest. Below is my entry.



Being in my late 20s and having my parents in their 60s I realize that I unfortunately don't have too many opportunities left to go on vacation with both of my parents. Not that they God Forbid are getting too old (they are both "Recycled Teenagers" after all), but we do not often have vacation breaks at the same time of year. Last winter they offered to take me along on their grand cruise of the Eastern Carribean and I quickly accepted. It was 11 joyful days that we got to spend together. This picture was taken on the picturesque beach in the Cayman Islands. I look forward to the next opportunity we have to travel the world together. Perhaps to a kibbutz in Israel, the Eiffel Tower in Paris, or an exhilirating African Safari (hint, hint!). Although the best vacation might just be sitting on the couch at my parent's house in California. There's nowhere else I'd rather be...


I'll let y'all know how it goes.

Predictify.com

My friend Josh told me about the above site and its pretty cool. You make predictions about many different things (ie Politics, Box Offices Grosses, Sports Scores) and for some of your correct predictions you can win a cash prize. This isn't fake, Josh has made over $100. Not every predicition has the possiblity of a cash prize, some you'll only be answering for your own enjoyment. I don't know who or what's bankrolling this site, most likely polling firms, but who cares. I like money. So check out the site, and have a good time.

PBR Takes Manhattan!

Last weekend was the PBR Versus Invitational in Madison Square Garden. Seeing these cowboys from deep in the Heartland riding on the backs of some of the rankest bulls in Midtown Manhattan was exhilirating. As Reifer pointed out, these cowboys are from towns so small, its amazing that they are actually traveling to the big city. One rider, McKennon Wimberly, is from Cool, TX, population, according to the 2000 census, 162. Or 161 on PBR weekends since McKennon is out of town. Theres more people than that living in my apartment building!

A gigantic group travelled from my shul in Washington Heights to see the bull riding. Or rodeo as these city folk erroneously called it. This ain't a rodeo kids. Its PBR!

I went on Saturday night with a group of buddies for my friend Shosh's birthday (Happy Birthday Shosh!) and wore my best country garb. Tight jeans, boots, and my trusty cowboy hat. I had a good time teaching them the ropes. Shosh and I, who attended the event last year (and sat next to George Strait!) cheered widely as the major riders were introduced (Adriano Moraes! Justin McBride!!)

Reifer and I returned on Sunday for the final round. I got to watch my current favorite Mike Lee (only because my total fave Justin McBride is injured) ride all 5 bulls he was given maintaining his amazing season of zero buck offs. Very very impressive. We sat behind this awesome kid who was totally into it (picture above). She was cheering wildly after each good ride. She was sooo cute.

Well, I guess I'll have to wait til next year to catch the live event again. Although I'll be watching every weekend on Versus and on their PBR YouTube channel. Maybe I'll even trek out to the World Finals in Las Vegas in October. We shall see.

Things I Hate: Round 1

I had thought I started this running tirade a long time ago. But I can't find it so I am starting anew. Round 1.

I hate the perky morning people in my office. They go around saying good morning to everyone all perkily. Come on man, at least wait until I've had my second cup of coffee. Especially if you are the lady who always expects a response to her "Good Morning". If I squeek out a "hi" she should find it sufficient. This morning one guy actually said, "Good Morning! Its a beautiful day!!" I nearly strangled him.

Tom Lantos

Tom Lantos is awesome. I just got a JTA Breaking News update that he is to retire from the US House of Representatives. He is a Holocaust survivor and has been a huge advocate for Jewish rights while spending almost 30 years in Congress. He is currently the Chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee. I heard him speak when I interned in DC in 2001 and was impressed with his story and passion to work hard on some of the most important issues. The JTA release has him quoted as saying, "It is only in the United States that a penniless survivor of the Holocaust and a fighter in the anti-Nazi underground could have received an education, raised a family, and had the privilege of serving the last three decades of his life as a member of Congress. I will never be able to express fully my profoundly felt gratitude to this great country."

He is retiring because he is suffering from cancer. I wish him a Refuah Shleima, a speedy and complete recovery.

A Goldstone New Year's Eve

My New Year's was pretty awesome. Party at Sharon and Devorah's was like their best one ever. I got to play Super Mario 3 while a little intoxicated which is always fun. We didn't bust out the DDR or karaoke like at previous #52 parties, but we had a sweet New Year's anyway.

A fun story is about how the senior Goldstones spent their evening. My parents have friends that come to LA every year from Detroit for the holidays so they always try to find something new and exciting to do each NYE. Someone said there was to be a big fabulous concert at the Walt Disney Concert Hall. So my mom bought tickets for them and their friends, all Detroiters in their 60s. Turns out the show was featuring Belinda Carlisle of 80's all girl band fame and the flaming Rufus Wainwright whos last album was a noted Judy Garland tribute. Let's just say my dad and the other fellows in their group were the only straight men in the audience. Plus, it was entirely in French! When I called them yesterday to find out how their night was and heard about the concert I was cracking up. My dad said that the show the couple was putting on in the seats to his left was far more entertaining than the one on stage. Good one Dad!

Bring on 2008!

2007- Comes and Goes

As I sit here listening to All the Things That I've Done by the Killers as I write my end of year blog post I think the Killers' lyrics sum up 2007 pretty well.

Another head aches, another heart breaks
I am so much older than I can take
And my affection, well it comes and goes
I need direction to perfection, no no no no

Thats 2007 in a nutshell for me.

2007 was the year I discovered Spring Awakening, Veronica Mars and How I Met Your Mother, three things that make me extremely happy. Give me any one of those things (and a scotch and soda) and I'm a happy camper. I'm so easy to please. I became a registered Marriage Officiant (just like Barney Stinson, seen in the photo above) and have so far stopped three Orthodox couples from living in sin (in the eyes of the Federal Government, they were already halachically wed at the time of the civil ceremony). My bro Alan just became engaged to an awesome girl. But I think they're going to go the more traditional route and have her Rabbi cousin oversee the nuptials. Oh well, their loss. I am hysterical in my ridiculous clergymember role. Anyhoo, things are looking up on the Susanne front.

Whether you are in New York, California, Colorado, Israel or Thailand, I hope you all have a Happy, Healthy, Safe and Legen-Wait for It-Dary New Year! Love ya!

Unsafe Sex leads to baby?!! Noooooo.....

I am pissed off at Jamie Lynn Spears. How dare she make Britney, the fodder of all my best jokes, look like the responsible sibling? Shame on you. Skank.

Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney's 16-year-old sister and star of the hit Nickelodeon TV show "Zoey 101" is pregnant.

JL was quoted by OK! Magazine saying "It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected. I was in complete and total shock and so was he."

In my current obsession Spring Awakening (and sorry for the spoiler kids) the main female character becomes pregnant. This was after she directly asked her mother where babies came from and her mother was too embarrassed to share with her the birds and the bees. All Wendla's mother told her was that to conceive you must be married and really love your husband. And then, voila, the baby comes. So when Wendla unknowingly conceives she tells her mom, but I'm not even married. Like Jamie Lynn, Wendla was also in shock. But seriously, did JL really not hear the news that sex leads to baby? Did mom Lynne Spears really not share with her daughter this crucial information? Better question, why hasn't Jamie Lynn seen Juno yet? Teenagers are no longer in the dark. This isn't 1890's Germany where Wendla was raised. If you get pregnant as a teenager nowadays, you don't have the right to be "in complete and total shock". Get a grip JL. You should have used a condom.

At least her sister Britney knew how to play the game. She swore to her legions of loyal pre-teen fans that she was a virgin at 16 because at least then she realized how impressionable these kids were. Or how lucrative her association with Disney was. Whichever. And this was while her boyfriend Justin Timberlake was beginning to tell a very different story. Of course everything since has gone downhill for trainwreck Britney. But at least back then, she knew what it meant to be a moral leader to pre-pubescents. I can't believe I'm saying this, but props to Britney. Next time make sure your kid sister is listening.

I'm taking bets for how quickly Jamie Lynn's hit Nickelodeon TV show will be off the air. They have already completed taping an entire additional season. Will it ever be aired? When will parents start picketing at Nickelodeon headquarters? Will there be room for them to picket alongside all the Writers Guild members? I give it one month.

*****UPDATE*****
Thanks to the Rabbi I share my corner office with this Newsweek article from October 2nd of this year was brought to me attention. It opens with: Jamie Lynn Spears wants to be known as a great actress—no drama, antics or tabloids involved. It then notes the trials of other tween celebrities like Miley Cyrus of "Hannah Montana" whom pregnancy rumors swirled around days earlier. They then do a Q & A about what its like to be a typical high school kid. They asked her specifically about Miley's "pregnancy scare" rumors and how the tabloids affect young celebs and she said "I stay out of that because I'm always at home; I don't go anywhere or do anything." Who knew? Immaculate Conception. Excelllent.

Jamie Lynn Speaks Out!!! 12/26/08

Props to John

For those of you who read my initial post about my Presidential candidate favorites last April you would know that of all the Republicans in this great nation, the only one I would ever think of voting for is Senator John McCain. Yesterday he picked up major endorsements from the major newspapers in Iowa and New Hampshire as well as the coolest Orthodox Jew in national politics, Senator Joe Lieberman. If Lieberman's support can push all the undecideds in McCain's direction he might have a fighting chance or else one of the other Republican imbeciles will score the candidacy. This could shape up to be an interesting race after all. Not that any of them can beat my girl Hill. My dream tickets for the 2008 election are as follows. Drumroll please....
For the Dems: Hillary and Bill Richardson. For the GOP: McCain and Joe Lieberman. This country has been going downhill for the last 7 years. Hopefully some of these peeps can get us back on track. Peace.

Its a Chanukah Miracle...

Nicole Richie chilling with some bochurim in LA. Thank goodness theres a picture on TMZ, otherwise I wouldn't have believed it.

Stay Wet!

AKA Have a shot of your favorite liquor. Happy Repeal Day! December 5th, 1933 marked the end of the Prohibition. And in honor of that I want booze. Badly. But it will have to wait until work is over. Which leads me to another embarrassing Susanne story. Here goes:

Tonight I am going to a Chanukah party at my buddies' Ariela and Devorah's apartment. So I IMed Devorah to ask, "SusQHB: Will there be booze?". "Devorah: My boss is at my desk. What type of question is that?!" Whoops. Sorry Devorah!

Happy Chanukah

Happy Chanukah to all my Jewish Peeps! To all my non-Jewish friends, Happy Wednesday!

This holiday season was chock full of miracles back in the day. I think we should all capitalize on the good vibes this time of year and take advantage of them. Do some good deeds. Volunteer for some charity. Donate a box of old clothes. And most importantly, tell your family and friends that you love them and think about them. Spread the good cheer to everyone around you.

Happy Holidays!

Susanne

See this movie...

Juno was released TODAY in New York and Los Angeles. Go see this movie. Today if you can. If you're like me, you think teenage pregnancy is hysterical, but with the hysterical Ellen Page as the soon to be mother, Michael Cera (the tall blond dork in SuperBad, and I should add, a guest role on Veronica Mars) as the dad, and the incredibly versatile Jennifer Garner (I know, who knew) and Jason Bateman as the potential adoptive parents, you'll be rolling in the aisles. Seriously. LOVED this! Go see it.

***DISCLAIMER*** Before you picket my blog, keep in mind, I do not find teenage pregnancy funny in any way. Sometimes I can be a bit sarcastic. Sorry for that. This movie on the other hand, very funny. Go see it. Click here to buy tickets.

Spring Awakening Giveaway

I posted on the Spring Awakening Fan Club message board that I have obtained one additional copy of the 2 full-page New York Times GAP ad featuring the entire original cast of Spring Awakening. I then went on to say that I am trying to find out a way to choose one lucky winner from the SA Fan Club. I have decided. There will be one trivia question. It is: Who bought me my Spring Awakening tickets for my birthday this year? The answer can be found somewhere on the World Wide Web. Those reading this post on my blog or in Facebook Notes are closer to finding the answer than they think...hint, hint. Send me a "Personal Message" on the Spring Awakening Fan Club site (my nickname is susqhb) and from the correct answers I will choose one winner. Good luck all!

Idiots in the News...

OJ OJ OJ. What can I say? Dude, you are a bad criminal so find a new line of work. He was indicted this week on his burglary charge in Las Vegas. His response? "Its alright. I trust our nation's jury system". Well sure you do. They acquited you of a murder that you have since admitted to. I would trust the jury system too if I was able to get away with murder, literally.

Other idiots. I had this story in my newsfeed today: Robber shoots himself during home invasion. During the robbery, one of the robbers went to put his gun in his pants and the gun went off and he shot himself. IN HIS PANTS. I'm not going to ask question. I'm going to use my imagination as to the connotations of shooting yourself in the pants. If you are stupid enough to stick a gun into your pants with the safety off, don't carry a fricken gun.

Embarassed in the city

Rarely do I have a life experience that is so embarrassing that I feel the need to write about it. But here goes...

So this week Tamar and I ran out to lunch and we had some time to kill so I suggested we go to Conway. Its bad enough that I shop there. Their clothes are kinda skanky and don't fit anyone over a size 4 but I still like to go there and pick up new tights every winter and shop for stuff from their store in the basement. Really cheap gifts, toys, toiletries, and food items. So Tamar was upstairs looking at their size 4 clothing items and I ran downstairs to see if they had any 99 cent boxes of cereal (I love Conway deals!). Tamar was hanging onto my credit card since my skirt didn't have a pocket. So before I went downstairs I reached into her purse and grabbed the card. I got down there, grabbed the cereal and went to pay. And I handed the non-English speaking cashier....Tamar's Baruch ID card. And she laughed at me. I apologized, asked her to hold on a sec and raced upstairs to get my credit card from Tamar to pay for my $5 worth of items. By the time I got downstairs apparently all the cashiers had heard the story and thought it was hysterical. To make matters worse, as Tamar and I were heading out of the store some babe who thought she was a security guard tried to make us show receipts. Oh, sure. Cause I really was at CONWAY to SHOPLIFT two pairs of $1.99 stockings and a box of 99 cent cereal. We asked her why she was checking receipts and I said, but you've never checked them before. She was all up in my grill and was like "Oh yeah! How long you been shopping here? We been doing this forever" How long have I been shopping at Conway? Thats a personal question. I don't think I want to admit that to another person. Especially this babe. Anyway, crisis averted. I'm adding Conway to my long list of NYC stores that I have been embarrassed in. Actually come to think of it, this was my second time making trouble at Conway. The first was when I brought a whole slew of Free Manischewitz manufacturer's coupons when I saw they were selling those gigantic bottles of grape juice. Those poor girls had never seen a coupon before. I had to explain to them how they worked. Anyway, Peace y'all.

Appropriate Mitch Quote

Tamar and I just got back from J2. The dude behind the counter just gave me the smallest slice of pizza I have ever seen. Which reminds me of a story Mitch Hedberg told: "I went to a pizzeria, I ordered a slice of pizza, the f#$%er gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the f#$%er gave me the "donate it to charity" slice. I would like to exchange this for the "keep it!"

Video Delay

Sorry folks. My comedy video has not yet been uploaded. My computer is sick and is being fixed by my friend Adam. Keep waiting with baited breath. It will be posted as soon as possible. This is also sad because those of you who are my friends on Facebook are accustomed to see new Susanne pictures almost daily and I am a week behind. Soon soon.

Tonight's the night...

Susanne doing stand up...Take 2. Topic: Becoming Frum and Being a BT. Pictures, stories, and video to follow. Wish me luck. I hope I don't blow.