Spain!

I am off to backpack through Spain, the reigning anti-semitism capitol of Europe. We needed security clearance to go to shul for Shavuous. Personally, I think we should do background checks at my shul, Mt. Sinai in Washington Heights. Keep out all the freaks and geeks. They've been crowding the place. We are spending Shavuous in Madrid before heading to the cities in the South. Will fill you all in upon my return. Shalom!

Purim Shpiel

Below is the Mt. Sinai Purim Shpiel. I did my best to bring on the funny, but with only 6 lines in the whole show, there wasn't much I could do. Enjoy!

Segulah Kiddush

In my attempt to be the complete antithesis of the Jewish Feminist that I was labled in my previous blog post, I have decided to sponsor the upcoming Mt. Sinai Shabbos Mevarchim Kiddush. Why you may ask? As I entered the world of Orthodoxy I became familiar with the word segulah. Literally a treasure, its interpreted, by me at least, to mean mazel, or good fortune. Everywhere you go you find segulah. At weddings its a segulah for the kallah to pass around her jewelry to single friends at the chuppah. Its a segulah to take a swig of the germy leftover chuppah or sheva brachas wine. And my favorite wedding segulah, segulah challah. I love my carbs. Poppy seeds not as much, but yummy eggy challah is quite tasty.

Those were the first segulot I was introduced to. Then my friends started having babies. So my boss would bring cookies into the office after a bris and say eat this, its a segulah. He's a Rabbi so I believed him and ate it. I am not yet pregnant so so much for that.

I take part in segulah behavior because who knows what might help my situation. I'm a single chick. I'd like to get married so I can move out of God awful New York. If someone tells me eat a cookie, it might help, I say mezonos and eat the cookie. When I was on Birthright the Summer of 2003 I was the oldest person on my bus. I signed up for a "frum" trip because I didn't want my first Israel experience to be defined by how many Tel Aviv discos I visited or how many beer bongs I drank or how many hookahs I smoked. Little did I know that this meant 23-year-old working girl Susanne was going to be surrounded by 18-year-old Lubavitch girls from a seminary in Florida. Their only goal during this trip was to convince our madricha to take us to Amukah, the tomb of Jonathan ben Uzziel (who was said to have written the Kabballah), where unmarried people travel to be granted blessings to find a marriage partner. Well, 3 1/2 years later and I bet half of that bus is married with children. Maybe I didn't daven hard enough. Or, Chabad's acceptance of marriage after 3 shidduch dates has made it easier for those girls to get hitched. Who knows? All I know is when we arrived I got out of the bus, went into the tomb, and said a perek of Tehillim. Why? Because I was there.

Another segulah I recently learned about was that it is customary for a couple to sponsor a kiddush when they have a daughter. When you have a son, you have a bris and a Seudas Mitzvah (festive meal) follows the circumcision. So I guess someone long ago said, we really should encourage people that have daughters to celebrate their good fortune by having a kiddush. Preferably one with chulent. Everyones loves chulent. So now all my friend's that have daughters get together with others in their shuls who have been blessed with a little girl and do a kiddush. Somehow over the years a rumor was inserted into this idea that girls who were never given a kiddush to celebrate their birth would never be married, or something to that effect. Being a baal teshuva, I kind of doubt that my parents sponsored a kiddush in my honor. I don't think they even went to temple back then. I don't even think they knew what a kiddush was back then, other then it being the blessing over the Shabbos wine.

I saw today on one of the many Yahoo groups of which I'm a member, that a shul in Passaic is making a kiddush available for women like myself to finally experience this long overdue kiddush, and hopefully wash away that bad fortune that our parents afflicted on us years ago. So I picked up the phone to call the lady and express my interest when I realized I could donate to my own shul's kiddush that week with the same goal in mind. I realize I can't be the only person in the neighborhood that would be interested in being part of this. Already, I have one friend who is FFB that doesn't think her parents held one for her, and even one guy interested in being part. Again, I'm not saying that sponsoring a segulah kiddush is going to be the answer to my prayers, but who knows? I'm going to be there. I might as well grab a bowl of chulent and hope I meet my bashert.

P.S. If you would like to join be part of this kiddush feel free to email me. Even if you aren't a member of Mt. Sinai, even if you live in Antartica. If you are a women who never had a kiddush, or you have a daughter that you'd like to shower with this extra blessing, please let me know.

Auditions for Mt. Sinai Announcer

For those of you who know me, you know two things.

1) I'm loud and 2) I wasn't always religious.

Last Friday night, as usual, the shul's former Vice President rose to the bimah to make the Shabbos Announcements. At the end he announced that he is being replaced. Admittingly, he sometimes rambles on about certain things, especially personal Mazel Tovs, but the fella also represents old school Mt. Sinai. He raised his children in this neighborhood and has been a member for many years. For that reason I have never minded him getting up there. Every week, we saw the joy he felt looking into the full pews. As recently as 6 years ago, those same pews sat nearly empty.

He announced to the full sanctuary that it has been decided by the shul board that he should step down from his position as announcer so we could make way for a new, younger member to take his place. In fact, he announced that there would be an "American Idol" like contest to find his successor. I asked some of my shul board member friends and they confirmed that it had been decided at a recent meeting. I even inquired whether or not a female would be eligible and was told that they were not and was given a litany of excuses for this.
Excuses:
1) The announcements take place during davening. Rebuttal: They COULD be made after davening concludes, just as we did when we began Mt. Sinai's Young Leadership minyan following our mass exodus from the Bridge Shul. Why did we leave the Bridge Shul? Because the leadership was not open to making changes to accomodate the influx of the Washington Heights young modern members. Hmmmm.

2) The set up of the sanctuary would require the woman ascending the bima. Rebuttal: The woman could speak at the men's section entrance, opposite the Ark. The section is set up so that the men are facing one another, not the Ark, so to see the announcer they could look to their right instead of their left.

3) Rabbi Schnaidman made up his mind that it cannot be done. Rebuttal: Has anybody, EVER, heard the Rabbi actually say this, and if he has, has it been in the last 20 years? I think we are giving too little credit to our Rabbi. Admittingly, he's been in the rabbinate for many years, but even he has acknowledged that this shul has changed since he ascended its pulpit.

That said when I was browsing our community website Maalot I came across this post:

Mt. Sinai Announcement Auditions

So You Think You Can Announce?

Mt. Sinai will be holding open auditions to find the brightest post-tefillah announcements talent.

Beginning this week (March 2-3), applicants (shul members only) will be given one chance, a single trip to the podium, to prove that they have what it takes to clearly and concisely convey the week's announcements to the kehilla. After every applicant has had a turn, shul members will be directed to the shul website where they will vote for their favorite and decide who will be the new voice of Mt. Sinai.

Auditions will end on March 24 (latest) and the winner, decided by the online polling, will begin his duties after Pesach.


Mt. Sinai will be holding open auditions to find the brightest post-tefillah announcements talent? How can that possibly be the case when women aren't even allowed to "audition"? Brightest MALE talent more like, which hey, doesn't say much in my book. Other than the last line which says he "will begin his duties after Pesach" there is no other way to know its only open to men. I of course replied "Maybe you should clarify this is for males only since talented females are unable to attain the position. Although that in my opinion should be open to debate as well." Hopefully this will spark a conversation in our shul. Plenty of modern Orthodox shuls, including some in Teaneck and Mount Vernon, allow women to address the congregation after services. Why should we be so backwards.

And for all the naysayers, maybe its time to stop hiding behind the Rabbi. When I spoke to people that I'm pretty sure were personally opposed to it, they said, welllll I'm alright with it, but Rabbi Schnaidman is not. If you're not okay with it say so. If you really do support it, encourage a dialougue.

Now, back to where I started. I'm loud and engaging. I could potentially be a wonderful after-davening announcer. I am also a Baal Teshuva so I have definitely stepped foot on bimas in the past, including at my Bat Mitzvah where I stood in my pink talis and read my Torah Portion just like all the other boys and girls in my class. I refuse to accept the fact that being Orthodox means unyielding to change. Our communities have b"H become more welcoming to diversity. In Teaneck, you've got one dude in a black hat with a sheital wearing wife and he sits in shul next to a guy in a srugy who's wife doesn't cover her hair and wears pants. Somehow they've accepted how the other practices his religion. Each of their homes is Kosher and Shomer Shabbos.

The thing that irks me the most is that Mt. Sinai is soooo proud of itself for setting up this exciting, revolutionary contest to replace a guy who actually deserves to be giving the announcements. He is going to be replaced by some hotshot guy who just signed his second one-year lease on his Bennett Ave apartment. I'm not saying I necessarily want this job. But I do think I'd be good at it. I do think I deserve a fair opportunity to "audition". I am a member of this shul, paying dues which have climbed to a rate that frankly, I'm not sure I can afford any longer. And what do I get in return? Two dollars off at any shul event? A monthly newsletter? It shouldn't just be a punchline for the Purim Shpiel. These are real concerns that I have. Its not a joke. I refuse to hide behind the Rabbi. If we do not stay open minded, some of us just might need to find someplace that is.