Just read this article in the New York Times. A dating site that tells you exactly the height and occupation of your ideal suitor would be handy in the frum world. But if you are reading this and are a 5'10" Frum Optometrist, send me a message. You're just what I'm looking for...
So apparently South Koreans meet for dates in hotel lobbys. Unheard of!
Traditional Korean Marriage Meets Match on the Internet
Published: June 6, 2007
SEOUL, South Korea, June 5 — Sitting in his office crammed with files and boxes, Lee Woong-jin, a 42-year-old entrepreneur, talks enthusiastically about his latest moneymaking plan: merging the age-old Korean matchmaking tradition with the vibrant South Korean Internet culture.
His company — which allows subscribers to search for mates online — is one of a growing number of matchmaking services in South Korea, where families still arrange many marriages. Many of the services, like Mr. Lee’s company, rely heavily on the Internet and bill themselves as being more scientific than one-person shops that use social connections to make matches.
One of Mr. Lee’s customers, Kim Su-jong, a 29-year-old pharmacist, recently listed more than 330 pieces of information about herself — including her height, weight, blood type, drinking and smoking habits and monthly pay. And, in a twist that shows how much weight the society places on the standing of a spouse’s family, she also listed the jobs and academic credentials of everyone in her immediate family.
Within seconds, the computer program produced a marriage consulting report advising her that it would be most realistic for her to get married next year to a 33-year-old dentist or herbal doctor between 5 feet 7 inches tall and 5 feet 8 inches. If she believes in horoscopes, the computer said, August would be the best month to marry, but March and September should be avoided. That information cost her $21.
For an extra charge the computer will scan a pool of 25,000 clients and send her the names of one or two men whose profiles appear to make them suitable partners.
“We built our system by analyzing the marrying patterns of 10,000 couples married through our agency,” said Mr. Lee, the chief executive of Sunoo. “Our site is not a place for Cinderellas — people with illusions of finding a prince or princess. Our emphasis is on being scientific and practical.”
More than 1,000 dating agencies operate in South Korea. They include one-person operations run, typically, by middle-aged women who seek top graduates of prestigious universities and single doctors and lawyers and introduce them to rich families with eligible sons and daughters, and the corporations like Sunoo.
With the South Korean birth rate among the lowest in the world, demographers are casting friendlier looks on these agencies, which are banned from advertising on television.
“Our low birth rate is more than a crisis, and it’s because fewer people get married,” said Cho Nam-hoon, director of the government-funded Center for Low Fertility and Aging Studies. “The government should encourage the matchmaking industry. Perhaps it should start its own matchmaking service.”
Marriage is becoming optional, not a rite of passage, for South Koreans, with more men insecure about their jobs, and more women favoring work outside the home over rearing children. In 2005, 51 percent of South Koreans in their 20s and 30s were unmarried, five percentage points higher than in 2000.
In traditional Korea, where Confucian mores frowned on the mingling of the sexes, young people were brought together by matchmakers, usually old women in their villages.
Even now, marriage is widely viewed as a contract between two families, and parents often take charge. They check a candidate’s looks, education, income and horoscope. On weekends, young men and women might face each other awkwardly in a hotel restaurant after being dragged there by their parents for a matchmaking session.
“More than half our 10,000 clients were brought to us by their parents,” said Hong Kyung-hee of the Daks Club agency who has helped 100 couples tie the knot. “South Korea remains very conservative when it comes to marriage.”
For parents concerned with “saving face,” an agency can take care of the awkward business of checking backgrounds and, perhaps, rejecting a candidate introduced by friends.
For singles, using the agencies can reduce the risks of a blind date by screening potential suitors.
Leading companies like LG Electronics and Samsung ask agencies to organize group blind dates as a benefit for single employees. And major banks vie for rich private customers by offering free matchmaking for their children.
“We still find it hard to approach members of the opposite sex,” said Cha Hyun-seok, 34, an employee at LG Chemicals, who attended a recent matchmaking party organized by a dating agency. “There must be a go-between. So this is a useful service for me.”
