Two things to brighten your Valentine's Day. Well, actually a third thing. This was originally forwarded to me by my shtark roommate and shtark people don't generally acknowledge Valentine's Day. I thought that was cute. Thanks ST. Oh, and Happy Birthday to my shtarkest friend of all, Margie!
1. Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. " Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"
Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says: "No, I don't think God would get mad. Whom do you want to give a Valentine to?
"Osama Bin Laden," she says.
"Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock.
"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad,and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how Much he loved them, and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
Her father's heart swells, and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know,"Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the fucker!
2. Singles Awareness Day (SAD) is a humorous holiday celebrated on February 14 (although some prefer the 13th or the 15th to get away from the commercialism associated with the 14th). It serves as an alternative to Valentine's Day for people who are single: that is, who are not involved in a romantic relationship and can therefore not participate in Valentine's Day traditions. Some observers of SAD do so out of spite for Valentine's Day, as a Hallmark holiday, or for other reasons.
On Singles Awareness Day single people gather to celebrate or to commiserate in their single status. Some want to remind romantic couples to remember those less fortunate than they are. A common greeting on this day by its adherents is "Happy SAD!"
Sadly, the day is often used by less-friendly couples as a day to simply remind the singles they know about their current, uninvolved status.[citation needed]
The holiday is a good example of self-deprecating humor.
Good times.
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